This means that when people we love are not with us, we love them even more.
It's long been taught by the book of love, but now scientists suggest that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, particularly when it comes to intimacy.
Use absence to increase respect. If you are in a group, be it personal or professional, a temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about. A new study suggests that individuals in long distance relationships experience more intimacy with their significant others than those who are together daily.
Does Absence Really Make the Heart Grow Fonder? It turns out, there's actually some truth to this phrase! A study published in the Journal of Communication found that couples in long-distance relationships have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other every day, leading to higher levels of intimacy.
The great thing about a long-distance relationship is that it can help strengthen the bond that goes beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourselves and about each other. A long-distance relationship fosters communication and trust-building.
Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.
Taking time apart can allow you both to think about the issues in your relationship, cool off, learn new coping strategies, and come back together with a different lens or perspective that can be difficult to have when you're together and actively fighting through your issues.
The absence, they say, helps them to appreciate their partner more and makes the relationship stronger. In fact, people in long-distance relationships tend to maintain their relationships longer, be less likely to break up, and be more in love and satisfied than people in geographically close relationships.
Fading Feelings in a Long-Distance Relationship
Without intimacy of meaningful conversations and physical closeness, the feelings that you once shared for each other may begin to fade away. The more time you spend apart, the higher the chances you have of meeting someone else.
Geographical proximity and frequent face-to-face contacts have long been considered as crucial for promoting romantic relationships. However, a growing body of research indicates otherwise: long-distance relationships often have equal or greater value in maintaining and promoting romantic relationships.
The power of absence begins with the human propensity for the negative. Human beings are designed to be more sensitive and reactive to threat than to reward. We are impacted more strongly by pain than by pleasure. Frightening and sad events have the strongest grip on our memory.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder - but only if it is a man's.
“What shapes who we choose as a romantic partner is our relationships with our primary caretakers as kids,” Los Angeles-based psychologist Sarah Schewitz tells Talkspace. “We're unconsciously searching for somebody who has a conglomeration of negative and positive traits of the caretakers from our childhood.”
True love
If you decide your partner is still the right person for you after the passion ends, you're on your way to finding true love. It happens gradually and slowly: You'll usually start to feel it one or two years after the previous phase. Your feelings will just continue to grow deeper over the years.
Growing apart in a relationship may come soon or a long time after the honeymoon period. It's also possible to grow apart even if you love each other much, which often adds a sense of confusion and frustration.
Further research on complementary personalities suggests mixed results. A few studies parroted Winch's findings, but most studies, in a pool of over 300, found that the opposites largely do not attract. People are pulled to those who they similarities with in one way or another.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
Cobden explains, “The part that 'love comes when you're not looking' isn't really about not looking. It's about living your best life possible and fulfilling your own needs and desires with an open heart.” In other words, Cobden believes you must love and be happy with yourself before you can love somebody else.
Long-distance relationships require an extra level of thought and communication. Because of this, red flags can often be more difficult to identify in long-distance relationships. Reluctance to communicate, gaslighting, and frequent arguing can all be long-distance red flags.
Simply be courteous and keep some physical distance between you two whenever you meet. Let him have his space but do let him know you miss him once in a while. Remind him of the fun things you did together before but not anymore. Communicate instead of giving the cold shoulder, hoping to send a message.
So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.
While “I love you's” are often joyous moments, “I miss you's” come from a different place. They come from a place of reflection and recognition that something didn't go as planned. The hope that you once had in that relationship, that person, isn't there anymore.
Research by psychologists and sociologists suggest that a relationship can be strengthened by time spent apart – whether literally/physically or figuratively.