Risk of Becoming Violent Many individuals with BPD never commit any aggressive acts during their lives. If you are feeling threatened, even if no violence has occurred in your relationship, you should take that seriously. If you already feel unsafe, it is possible the situation could escalate to the point of violence.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
Listen as our host speaks candidly with experts, celebrities, and others! If this describes your relationship, you are not alone. Something that is important to remember is that people with BPD generally do not mean to be abusive. They are reacting in response to emotional pain that they cannot tolerate.
BPD And Toxic Relationships
The quick changing nature of BPD symptoms (e.g., emotional peaks and valleys) can lead to conflict-filled, chaotic relationships that may develop into toxic relationships.
The actions of people who have BPD can indeed feel manipulative. However, the word 'manipulative', with its pejorative suggestions of malicious scheming, does not capture the true nature of BPD-spurred behavior.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
Is narcissism a symptom of BPD? Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
An individual developing borderline personality disorder begins to have difficulty managing their emotions, which impacts their relationships, their self-image, and their behaviors. Their emotions are extremely intense, which can lead to episodes of depression, anxiety or anger that may persist for days or even weeks.
A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions. When something happens in a relationship that makes them feel abandoned, criticized, or rejected, their symptoms are expressed.
Punishment and revenge are central to the manifestation of what Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is and means when it comes to relationships.
Common triggers of BPD rage can include: Emotionally challenging situations that seem threatening. Situations where the person fears abandonment. BPD splitting, which is a type of black-and-white thinking where people see things as either all-good or all-bad.
People with a history of child abuse, such as childhood sexual abuse, physical neglect, early life stress (such as traumatic events in childhood), and child maltreatment are significantly more likely to develop BPD.
In 30% up to 90% of cases BPD is associated with abuse and neglect in childhood and these percentages are significantly higher than those registered in other personality disorders (13–15).
But what makes the condition even harder is that many people who live with Borderline Personality Disorder don't even know they have it. BPD is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions. It's so misdiagnosed, in fact, that there isn't even an accurate prevalence rate for the condition.
People with petulant BPD often exhibit explosive, intense anger and periods of intense shame and worthlessness. They tend to feel let down and disappointed by others in their life, and they have a near-constant feeling of being harshly mistreated.
BPD-diagnosed people are typically more prone to impulsive and self-destructive behavior, while those with NPD are more likely to exhibit grandiose behavior and a sense of entitlement. This is why when a narcissist's ego is wounded—what we'd call narcissistic injury,—the mental repercussions can be extreme for them.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is defined by the National Institute of Health (NIH) as a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. Due to this, unstable relationships and impulsive behavior often occur.
People with a BPD diagnosis depend on a favorite person to meet both physical and emotional needs. It can be exhausting to always feel needed, leading to burnout. If you're the favorite person of a loved one or family member with BPD, they may show some of the following behaviors: Constantly asking for reassurance.
“People with BPD lie often, but it is not because they are pathological liars,” says Nikki Instone, Ph. D. “Lying is not a symptom of the disorder so much as a consequence of their internal battle.” Lying is really rooted in emotional dysregulation, which is one of the main symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Because of their overall pessimistic demeanor, they can easily feel slighted and may express this aggressively or hold it in and build resentment. Those with this type of BPD tend to view people in “black and white” terms (known as BPD splitting), so they are likely to hold onto a grudge after feeling insulted.
It's a technique often used by those with narcissistic and/or borderline personality disorders to deflect any responsibility from themselves.
BPD splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It's when a person sees everything as black or white, good or bad, or best or worst. Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle.
A borderline narcissist can be described as a person who has BPD and narcissistic traits or co-occurring NPD. In such cases, the BPD individual presents with an unstable sense of self or disconnect from self, poor self-esteem, hypersensitivity to criticism, defensiveness, and feelings of insecurity.
People with BPD can be very direct and honest people, and while it does not always feel that way to them and others, they are often well equipped to handle challenges in life. Myth #6: People with BPD are dramatic attention-seekers.