Sexting can certainly be considered a form of cheating, as it typically betrays the trust and intimacy within a committed relationship. It's normal to feel sad, angry, or lonely after being betrayed. It's also normal to feel as though you can't trust your partner, or fear that sexting is just the tip of the iceberg.
Sexting can be considered to be worse than cheating because it involves both, a sexual act as well as emotional infidelity. Even if there is no physical contact, the fact that a person can build an intimate relationship, even if on the phone, with someone other than the person they are committed to is akin to cheating.
While sexting is popular in short-term affairs, experts claim those in long-term relationships benefit most from it. This flirty form of communication, which includes sexually suggestive texts, photographs or videos, is useful for both long-distance partners and those who live together.
Bottom line, talk about what is OK and what isn't OK in your relationship," and then you can go from there. If your partner says they didn't realize that sexting someone else wasn't acceptable, and you believe them, then forgiveness might be an option for you.
So if you want to know whether sexting is good or bad for a relationship — it depends. If you and your partner trust each other and you both feel it is beneficial, there's no reason it should be damaging to your relationship.
If you've found out your partner is sexting someone else, consider getting therapy together. Aside from unpacking your relationship dynamics, it can also: Help you work through the hurt and loss of trust you may be experiencing. Provide structure to help establish timelines and truths.
Sexting could also put you at risk for placement on the Sex Offender Registry and possible jail time. Usually, the consequences are harshest for those who request or share the photo. And even if you're not breaking the law, your school can punish you and others involved, even if you're legal adults.
Courts Say Sexting and Cyber Sex are Not Adultery
For one thing, all 50 states have enacted no-fault options, which allow you to get a divorce without proving that your spouse engaged in adultery or some other type of marital misconduct that caused your marriage.
But sexting is no different than facts or evidence about a typical affair or sexual indiscretions. No-fault divorces exist to prevent needing to find fault as evidence. If you're sexting and your spouse finds out, it may trigger a divorce. It is not necessary that your spouse try to prove adultery to get a divorce.
Sexting falls within the larger category of cyber or online affairs. Even if physical intimacy isn't involved, emotional affairs and online infidelity can be just as damaging, as they are inherently flirtatious and intimate.
Sexting can happen through sexually explicit text messages, provocative audio clips, suggestive selfies, or videos. No matter what form sexting takes, it should always be a consensual practice between two or more parties.
Youth who sext, compared to those who don't, were more likely to have multiple sexual partners, experience anxiety and depression, and drink alcohol, take drugs, and smoke. They were also less likely to use contraception. The associations were stronger in younger adolescents.
While to them sexting might feel like an innocent activity if it is done with mutual consent, teens should understand that problems can still happen. Messages, pictures, or videos sent via digital devices are never truly private or anonymous. In seconds, they can be out there for all the world to see.
Infidelity, or cheating, is the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or other partner. It typically means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with a person other than one's significant other, breaking a commitment or promise in the act.
Writing long romantic/sexual letters to someone else. Having deep phone calls with someone else about everything you think and feel—without your partner's knowledge and permission. Keeping your relationship with a certain person secret from your partner because you're worried what your partner will think.
Sexting can cause serious problems for teens. Not only can it lead to social embarrassment, but it can also lead to bullying and cyberbullying. It can also affect a person's career choices and can lead to “Sextortion” which is the act of sharing naked pictures with another person to harm them.
Married adults do sext each other, but it is much less common than within young adult relationships, and consists mainly of sexy or intimate talk (29% reported engaging in sexy talk with partners) rather than sexually explicit photos or videos (12% reported sending nude or nearly-nude photos).
People who sext their romantic partners several times a week or daily report lower levels of commitment and higher degrees of couple conflict than those who don't send the suggestive messages.
Sexting can last as long as both mutually agree to continue the relationship. Although, there are situations where one person might not like the idea of ending the relationship and continues to send sexually explicit messages without the other person's consent.
Sexting doesn't indicate a significant change in teenage sexual behaviors; it just makes teenage sexual behaviors more visible to adults. Sexting can help adolescents discover their sexual identity, something that is developmentally appropriate in the teenage years, whether they are sexting or not.
Sharing naked pictures is abusive and a major violation of trust. It can also be a crime to store or share sexual photos of someone under 18, even if you're also under 18. Talk to them about why sexting might not be a good idea. There are lots of others ways they can flirt or let you know how they feel.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.