A golden child can become a narcissist. Because golden children are told that they must be good at everything and feel pressured to live up to unreasonable expectations, they are sometimes unable to develop their own sense of self. This can cause low self-esteem, which lays the foundation for becoming a narcissist.
Like other personality traits, narcissism is moderately heritable and partly rooted in early emerging temperamental traits (33). Some children, because of their temperamental traits, might be more likely than others to become narcissistic when exposed to parental overvaluation (16, 21).
The “love” that a narcissist has for their golden child is so conditional because if the golden child were to do anything that contradicted the narcissist's sense of self and triggered their suppressed negative emotions, the narcissist would have to discard them immediately to protect their own emotional stability and ...
But children who were extremely melodramatic, and who also had parents that ignored or neglected them, spoiled them constantly, or insisted on perfection, were more likely to become narcissists in adulthood.
While adult children of narcissists will not necessarily exhibit all of the following traits, it's highly likely they will experience some of them: People-pleasing tendencies. Feeling guilty when considering their own needs. Persistent self-doubt and indecision.
Effects of Being Raised by Narcissists
Dr. Brunell says, “The child typically suffers from low psychological well-being, such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. They tend to try to please others and have poor ability to set boundaries or to say no to people's requests.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
In an NPD family, The Lost Child just doesn't seem to matter to the narcissist, and avoids conflict by keeping a low profile. They are not perceived as a threat or a good source of supply, but they are usually victim of neglect and emotional abuse.
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
Of all the roles children play in the narcissistic family, the favored “golden child” is most likely to develop a narcissistic personality because of the toxic mix of enmeshment, neglect, and entitlement they experience.
Since the golden child has been trained to be an actor, they fail to embrace an authentic relationship with their sibling, scapegoat. There will always be sibling rivalry, which not only have they instigated but they appreciate it since it causes the separation.
They play favorites.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family.
Another reason why children of narcissists may become narcissists themselves is because they learned long ago that, in order to be deserving of love and attention from their parent, they could do so by being an extension of their parent's efforts to be the best.
Research shows that both types of narcissism have a genetic factor. Those with the grandiose type are less likely to get theirs through genetics and more likely to be influenced by their environment. The opposite is true.
The condition is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, including exposure to parental narcissism. Narcissistic individuals are often vain, have low self-esteem, and feel entitled. They may be unsympathetic and have little empathy for others' feelings.
Since the scapegoat child is only tolerated when they bear the faults of the parent with NPD, they can grow up with a distorted view of relationships and love as only conditional or transactional. Gravitating toward partners with narcissistic behaviors.
For the narcissist, the golden child is a blank slate on which they can project their own aspirations, dreams, and fantasies. The actual needs and wants of the child do not matter. The narcissistic parent anoints this child to be the idealized version of themselves.
The scapegoat is someone who must embody what the narcissistic parent cannot stand in themselves. By “finding” what they hate in themselves to be in the scapegoat child, the parent feels protected; this is the role of the scapegoat child.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Warning Signs Of An Aging Narcissist
Become more reclusive and only want to spend time with people they feel are worthy of their attention. May lose interest in the people around them altogether. May find that they are no longer able to tolerate the imperfections of others and may lash out in anger or frustration.
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
Often, NPD will begin in the teenage years or early adulthood. Personality disorders are typically diagnosed at 18 years or older, according to Hallett.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.