The way to be friendly but not friends at work is to just maintain kindness and politeness while setting firm boundaries with people. While we might think it rude to firmly tell people not to talk to us in any other setting, in a work environment it's perfectly normal.
You don't need to make friends, but you do need to be friendly to get ahead at your job. The good news is that you don't need to be friends with your co-workers in order to be a person people want to work with.
You won't be hanging out. You also won't be texting to say silly things to each other, and basically you've agreed to just be acquaintances, but not real friends. Being friendly means that if you run into each other somewhere, it won't be a big deal and neither of you will have to leave because of the other person.
We often refer to people we are friendly with at work as “friends,” but there's a difference. While being social can help boost morale and happiness on the job, you need to set boundaries. Instead of striving for friendships at work, it's better to stay friendly with coworkers, Hakim noted.
Use greetings and ask questions. Say "hello" and "goodbye" to your colleagues when you come to work at the start of your shift and when you leave at the end. Ask friendly questions about their weekend, hobbies or any information they might volunteer. Paying attention and asking questions about them shows you care.
You might feel like you don't have any shared experiences with anyone from the company. Maybe they've worked at your new company for years and have already developed friendships. Or if you've been in your job for a while, suddenly trying to make friends with your coworkers can be tough.
There are no rules about how often you should socialize with your co-workers, and you're not going to lose your job if you avoid all out-of-office extracurricular activities.
No matter the reason, not being able to or not wanting to socialize with co-workers is completely acceptable. It's daunting determining how to politely turn down invitations for socializing after work, and choosing when to join in.
You don't have to be friends with all your colleagues, but you must demonstrate respect for one another. The primary way to do this is to avoid doing offensive things.
The concept is simple. – Friendly: Be polite, say hi… but NEVER say things like; let's catch up, do lunch or plan weekends together, OR accept their invites. – Friends: You need to seek them out. Have a genuine interest, ask questions, find opportunities to help.
Being friendly is smiling at someone and saying, "hi." It's nice, but it's not making a connection with someone. Being a friend means taking things to the next level. Being a friend requires action, conversation, and engagement.
If you are happy and content without friends, then it probably isn't hurting you. In fact, being on your own can have a number of benefits as well. Solitude and spending time by yourself has been linked to some positive effects such as: Increased creativity10.
Careless behaviors, a decrease in work quality, or irresponsibility from a usually dependable worker are indicators of potential loneliness. Sloppy work is a key indicator that people are working with a lessened sense of connection to either the team or their work. Examples: Missing project deadlines.
If your colleagues rarely include you in group discussions, it might be a sign they don't like you. While it's not necessary they always discuss their personal matters with you, make sure they inform you about all team meetings and give you a chance to talk to them about new strategies or projects.
That could be because your colleagues aren't thoughtful enough to invest in you. Or it could be because you aren't performing in a way that inspires them to invest in you. It's your job to find out which one of those scenarios applies to you.
Sometimes, it's best to agree to disagree, respectfully. When that happens, employees should acknowledge there is a difference of opinion or approach, and come up with a solution together on how to move forward. Keep the focus on behavior and problems rather than people.
But no, sitting minding your own business is never rude. They might even be grateful that you aren't forcing small talk with them.
According to a meta-analysis co-authored by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or having alcohol use disorder.
In the end, Hall found that it takes roughly 40-60 hours to become casual friends with someone, 80-100 hours to be friends, and more than 200 hours to become close friends.
Anxiety is the number one reason why people hate socializing. It can create an unbearable experience. So the natural thing to do is to avoid situations that make us feel overwhelmed. *But, it's very normal to feel nervous in social situations.