Experts say this destructive duality can stem from an individual's inability to integrate two conflicting, opposite sides of a personality. But people who are not able to do this, psychologists say, can end up splitting off the different aspects of their personality.
In truth, Narcissists live more than a double life considering how they're presenting themselves to different crowds, wearing different masks. A spouse sees one variation, while friends, business partners, and family members may see an entirely different one.
But forensic psychologists say that people who lead dual lives are often driven by many of the same factors, including easy money, personality disorders and the thrill of illicit and sometimes dangerous activities.
When a person is secretive, they seem mysterious because they don't reveal much about themselves. You can also be secretive about something specific — you might be suspicious of your sister's secretive behavior until you realize she's been planning a surprise party for your birthday.
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Someone who's lying or hiding something might hold their hand in front of their mouth while talking to you. Others might scratch their head or stroke their cheek when they're thinking about how to respond to a question. Also, when it comes to hand and arm movements, size matters.
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition. Someone with DID has multiple, distinct personalities. The various identities control a person's behavior at different times.
Double Life Examples
A seemingly good husband could have a porn addiction. A rich woman could be compulsively engaging in shoplifting. A seemingly ordinary nanny could be a drug addict. A seemingly happy husband could have a second home on the other side of town.
Avoiding eye contact. Being vague, or offering few details. Body language that is contradictory (such as saying "no" but nodding their head up and down) Body language that is unusual (like fidgeting, rigidity, rubbing brow, playing with hair, or slouching)
A man who loves you will be open and honest about his feelings. If he is not forthcoming with his emotions or doesn't seem to be emotionally invested in the relationship, it could be a sign that he is pretending to love you.
Download an app called “Find My Phone” or “Find My Device” to keep track of their location. Access their social media accounts and look into the posts, comments, friends, and any information they've shared. Search through their trash or drawers to locate evidence that they have been cheating.
Sneaky refers to the actions of a person who is not being completely truthful and honest, and basically a little sly. It includes situations when a spouse lies about little things, like saying they are in one place when they are not. The meaning of a sneaky person can be interpreted through their behavior.
A hidden belief (political, religious, views about social groups, prejudices). Finances (spending, amount of money you have). A hidden current (or past) employment or school activity. An ambition, plan, or goal for yourself.
But psychologists say that most normal adults are well equipped to start a secret life, if not to sustain it. The ability to hold a secret is fundamental to healthy social development, they say, and the desire to sample other identities -- to reinvent oneself, to pretend -- can last well into adulthood.
In fact, research suggests keeping secrets can significantly boost stress hormones, impact blood pressure, inhibit sleep, contribute to mental health and substance use disorders and even increase chronic pain.