They make you feel bad about yourself.
A fake friend is not going to uplift you the way a true friend does. Leeds says that when you're around this person, "you may feel insecure, used, or judged." Sometimes, nothing even has to be explicitly said, but you can undoubtedly feel their judgment or disapproving looks.
A friend who is using you may only want to do things together at their convenience. They may expect you to listen to them, but not be willing to hear what you have to say. In a relationship, being used might involve selfishness and disinterest in your needs.
Real friends acknowledge that fact, and they effortlessly accept you for who you are. You may disagree on things, but they are there for you, no matter what. On the other hand, fake friends won't be patient enough to deal with your faults and will try to leave as soon as they find themselves in unfavorable situations.
Real friends may show unconditional love and expect nothing in return. They may not judge you or think less of you. They will likely always have your back and support you through thick and thin. Real friends can help you focus on your goals, stay motivated, and be creative.
A real friend is someone that you can rely on. You know that they will keep their plans with you. You know that you can rely on them to show up for you when you need it. Real friends are people that have proven they will show up for you in the past and will continue to do so because you are a priority to them.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
Our friends can become fake friends when we begin feeling ambivalent about them. Ambivalent relationships cause the most emotional strain, take the most energy, and are the most toxic. But what is an ambivalent relationship? Here are some questions to self-diagnose your ambivalent relationships.
They frequently try to outdo or one-up you
If you share something positive from your life, a friend dealing with jealousy might respond by sharing something similar, only bigger or better. In other words, you may notice a pattern of behavior where they not only imitate you, but also try to go one step farther.
If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it. Your friend is dishonest or holds back information. “Deep connections require trust,” Schmitt says.
If you feel you need your friend to give you meaning, affirmation, and purpose — in other words, you seek validation from them — it's another sign of being a toxic friend, according to Dr. Klapow. “You are not looking for a relationship that is honest; rather, one that is reinforcing all the time,” he says.
A simple test to detect if someone dislikes you: ask them about their hobbies, friendships, or something else they enjoy. If they always respond in short and frigid words, or just yes or no answers, chances are they aren't for you. I mean, consider it. You don't talk to someone if you don't want to.
While a friend might use relaxed language, share a few jokes, or otherwise interact in a light-hearted manner, a person that doesn't consider you their friend may sound more official or formal, giving clipped responses when you meet up with them in person or otherwise engage them in conversation.
They're genuinely interested in your life and are absolutely not judgemental. Genuine friends are ones who want to know 'what you're up to these days'. Not to judge you or compare their life to yours or to size themselves up against you, but simply due to an authentic interest in your life.
Circumstances: Your lives have changed (no longer working together, going to the same school, etc.). Distance: You've grown apart in terms of interests or commitments. Lying: Your friend is deceitful. Negativity: Your friend spends more time cutting you down than building you up.
If you have a fake friend, it's best to break ties with them by distancing yourself or telling them your friendship is over. In the meantime, focus on finding real friends who are truly there for you.
Signs that you might be jealous are: You don't trust your partner when you're not together. You get concerned when they mention other people. You constantly check their social media to see what they're doing.