They may show love, for example, through a practical act, and tidy up for you, or iron your shirt, rather than through a more neurotypical way of looking at you and telling you or using physical affection.
Unique shows of affection
People with autism may show their love by: sharing their special interest. allowing someone into their space. using alternative forms of communication.
One of the most obvious signs is that she wants to spend time with you and she makes every effort to do so. Maybe suggesting places to go, asking for help with something or even just singling you out to talk to when you are in a group situation.
The aversion to touch may be misunderstood as a lack of comfort with affection. Children with autism do experience and express affection – some may simply experience and express it differently than others.
Autistic teenagers develop romantic feelings just as other children the same age do. Visual supports and social stories can help autistic teenagers recognise attraction and negotiate romantic relationships.
One concept that alludes many autistics is flirting. It is a challenge because they're often very literal. When someone is flirting, they do or say things, that in a literal sense, don't make sense. This non-literal behavior can be very challenging for neurodiverse adults to understand.
Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged. Some children can swing the opposite way and want so many hugs that they feel hug deprived when they aren't getting enough.
Autistic children commonly avoid social touch more than non-autistic peers. It is generally thought that this is due to autistic individuals experiencing hyper- or hyposensitivity of touch.
Because autistic people might have trouble understanding social rules, the way others deliver words, or body language, they can sometimes express their feelings inappropriately. These include attraction and romantic feelings. People on the spectrum need clear explanations of what is appropriate and what is not.
Widespread stereotypes suggest that people with autism are incapable of feeling romantic love. In reality, people with autism can experience romantic love and often attach considerable value to their close relationships.
People with autism often experience love differently from neurotypical people. Their expression of love is less straightforward, as they tend to rely heavily on non-verbal communication. This can mean that those who are neurotypical may find it difficult to interpret the signs of affection.
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people's perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable.
Myth 1 – autistic people cannot make eye contact
This is well known but factually inaccurate. Whilst many autistic people struggle to make eye contact, some are able to, so don't assume someone who identifies as being autistic won't be able to meet your gaze.
However, people with autism produce smiles and frowns of similar intensity and size to those of controls, and they also make grimaces and other expressions equally quickly in response to stimuli such as strong odors. The work appeared in the December issue of Autism Research.
Many people with autism crave intimacy and love. But, they don't know how to achieve it in a romantic relationship. They can feel blind to everyday subtle social cues from their partner. This can cause conflict and hurt feelings.
Many autistic people experience hypersensitivity to bright lights or certain light wavelengths (e.g., LED or fluorescent lights). Certain sounds, smells, textures and tastes can also be overwhelming. This can result in sensory avoidance – trying to get away from stimuli that most people can easily tune out.
Since the Autism spectrum is so diverse, you can't say that everyone with Autism does or does not like hugs. However, I have recently noticed that there isn't much of a “gray area” when it comes to Autism and physical affection; it's either one way or the other!
Strong reactions to touch are remarkably widespread among people who have autism, despite the condition's famed heterogeneity. "The touch thing is as close to universal as they come," says Gavin Bollard, an autistic blogger who lives in Australia and writes about his and his autistic sons' experiences.
Many autistic people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers.
We can date people who aren't on the autism spectrum.
Often a misconception is that people on the spectrum want to only date others who are on the spectrum. This couldn't be farther from the truth. We just want to find someone we connect with and can be ourselves with.
Most people on the spectrum have difficulty separating sarcasm and humor from statements of fact. Abstract ideas and idioms are also tricky. As a result, they are likely to respond inappropriately—unless the speaker is careful to explain their meaning or intent.