No contact is often perceived as abandonment. A person with BPD will likely feel hurt, betrayed, angry, sad, depressed…you name it. Look no further than the very first symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder according to the DSM: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
If they tell you that having less contact with you than when you were previously in a relationship is causing them pain, then it may be best to go no contact. On occasion, a BP might actually initiate no contact. If that happens, accept that this is what they have deemed this necessary for their healing.
Along with high emotions - the borderline partner's fear of abandonment may be triggered and they may try harder to hold onto the relationship - or possibly they won't be able to cope and will seek retribution.
Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out. The best way to rebuild a relationship with your BPD ex is by starting fresh and focusing on your own needs.
People with borderline personality disorder have a deep fear of abandonment. They compete for social acceptance, are terrified of rejection and often feel lonely even in the context of an intimate relationship. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to manage the normal ups and downs of a romantic partnership.
Although BPD personalities initiate a break-up as a way of seeking validation, because of the intense anxiety at play, they'll often express intense regret because of their abandonment wounding, especially if they're not met with the response they desire.
Many sufferers of quiet BPD experience feeling disconnected from themselves and others. When their feelings become too unbearable, a person with quiet BPD frequently will detach emotionally from their experience, also known as dissociation.
Once they feel abandoned, suicide threats and attempts may occur, along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments. Many people with Borderline Personality Disorder feel they are unworthy of love, yet are constantly seeking approval from the people around them. They often feel they've been unfairly judged.
Pulling someone into a close relationship and then pushing that person away repeatedly is one of the most well-known symptoms of BPD. It causes the person in question to be confused about where they stand in the relationship.
Can You Ignore or Say No to Someone with BPD? You can ignore them if you feel disrespected or unsafe, but do this as a last resort when communicating your boundaries hasn't worked. Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior.
People with borderline personality disorder often feel abandoned and neglected and may react angrily or impulsively when they feel ignored. If you have a loved one with borderline personality disorder, it is important to be aware of the dangers of ignoring them.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
Ultimately, whether your BPD ex will come back after a breakup will depend on a variety of factors, including the specific dynamics of your relationship, the severity of their BPD symptoms, and their level of motivation to work on themselves and the relationship.
Some individuals with BPD tend to push limits, engage in risky behaviors, or seek stimulation in ways that are unhealthy.
When a BPD person is splitting, they may distort how they see things. One moment they feel good and the next they feel low. One moment they feel loved and the next they feel unwanted or abandoned. Borderline Personality Disorder splitting can destroy your relationship by inflicting pain on the partner.
Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD).
One explanation for the intolerance of being alone in BPD may be that individuals experience annihilation anxiety [10]. This is a traumatic anxiety based on an actual experience of danger and psychic helplessness [11], reflecting a fear of impending psychic or physical destruction [12].
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
If they feel threatened, they can then quickly discard the individual or the relationship by labeling them as "bad." Like most defense mechanisms, someone with BPD may not be aware they are engaging in devaluation and idealization.