Emotionally immature parents share the common traits of being dismissive, selfish, self-involved, emotionally immature, and unavailable. They put their needs first and rely on their child to fill the gap and the void in their life.
Having a childhood with this type of parent taught you that your needs and emotions don't matter. So as an adult, you're likely to question your thoughts and perspectives, doubt yourself and have low self-esteem. You may feel unheard, misunderstood, unloved, put down or trivialized.
In adulthood: Kids raised with this type of parenting often become perfectionists, overachievers, and highly critical of themselves, and may struggle with compulsive behaviors such as workaholism or shopaholism as ways of self-numbing and to feel worthy.
Emotionally mature parents are dependable, supportive, warm, open, respectful, and empathetic. They accept their children for who they are, value their individuality, allow them to be their own person, and free them from the burden of having to carry their problems.
Some may think that an emotionally immature parent is necessarily a narcissist, but this is not true at all. There are, in fact, more than one type of emotionally immature parents. As you read the list of examples below, think about whether your parents fit any of them.
Emotional immaturity can be the result of insecure attachments during early life experiences, trauma, untreated addiction or mental health problems, and/or lack of deeper introspection or work on oneself. It can manifest as self-centeredness, narcissism, and poor management of conflict.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
Emotionally immature people need you to validate their views and let them win all the time. Every time you disagree with them makes them feel threatened and insecure about themselves. However, instead of being pulled into a struggle, you can say, “I don't know, we'll see”
Emotionally immature parents share the common traits of being dismissive, selfish, self-involved, emotionally immature, and unavailable. They put their needs first and rely on their child to fill the gap and the void in their life.
Infographic: Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence
Individuals who are emotionally immature can be bratty, juvenile, impetuous and unthinking and lack the ability to handle their emotions and tend to react impulsively, without considering the consequences of their actions. They often make the environment toxic.
2) The Unpredictable Mother
The unpredictable mother is overwhelmed by feelings and her parenting style is based purely on mood. This mother can create problems, issues and crises in her own mind, through emotions and relationships, passing them on to the children.
Emotionally unstable or immature parents obstruct you from forgiving them. One helpful way is to Introduce a healthy emotional distance from them. Don't shun them but try not to get into emotionally charged conversations that could end up in bitter arguments. Instead, talk about safe topics, like hobbies or health.
Signs you might have a toxic parent include: They're self-centered. They don't think about your needs or feelings. They're emotional loose cannons.
A child who has experienced this type of trauma and holds much shame may show us behaviours such as: envy, anger, and anxiety, effects of sadness, depression, depletion, loneliness, isolation and avoidance. They will highlight to us their inadequacy, their powerlessness and at times their own self-disgust.
If your daughter feels unloved, she may suffer from several emotional problems. Symptoms can include depression, anxiety, self-harm, and more. These feelings are often the result of the way her parents treated her during her childhood.
In the emotionally neglectful family, the HSP learns they are overly emotional. They don't know that their emotions are personal expressions of who they are. Instead, they learn that they are different, damaged, weak, and wrong.
When trauma impairs your ability to develop full emotional maturity, this is known as arrested psychological development. Trauma can “freeze” your emotional response at the age you experienced it. When you feel or act emotionally younger than your actual age, this is known as age regression.
By Nikita Bhalla: Whenever you use the word cry, in all likelihood people associate it with all sorts of negative emotions. People who cry are seen as weak, immature, and even self-indulgent, but science suggests that it is completely normal to open up your tear ducts every once in a while.
Studies say men reach emotional maturity around 43, while 32 years of age is where most women mature. Considering both genders join the workforce or start a family much earlier than they have a decent level of control over their emotional state, this data explains why sometimes we choose the wrong paths in life.
To summarize, overparenting, lack of warmth, leniency, overvaluation and childhood maltreatment have all been associated with higher levels of narcissism. However, these parenting behaviours have often been examined in isolation or in different combinations, with mixed findings.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family. This can make children feel uncomfortable, disloyal and psychologically unsafe.
A narcissistic parent is a self-centered and self-absorbed parent with an inflated self-image and thinks they are better than others. They often disregard other people's needs and concerns, including their children's, because they believe their needs and feelings are the most important.