Key points. Often, narcissistic parents perceive the independence of their child as a threat. What distinguishes the narcissistic parent is a pervasive tendency to deny their child's independent selfhood. Biggest telltale signs of a narcissistic parent include emotional manipulation, lack of empathy, and neglect.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
A narcissistic parent is incredibly possessive of their children and feels threatened by their child developing any independence. Children of narcissistic parents generally experience humiliation and shame and grow up having poor self-esteem.
“You knew I didn't like it, but you still did it to hurt me.” “You only think about yourself.” “You always look for attention.” “You don't deserve everything that I have done for you.”
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
Narcissistic parenting creates huge problems for the growing child. Daughters of narcissistic mothers often become enmeshed with their parent, losing contact with their true self and growing up without boundaries and without the ability to recognise or nurture healthy relationships.
The Narcissistic Parent will applaud the Invisible Child for not having needs, and the Invisible Child becomes very attached showing that they don't have needs. They are the ones who silently suffer, trying to make peace, care giving, while everyone else is fighting in a chaotic gong show.
Self-Importance. The word that comes to mind is “grandiose.” The narcissistic parent will exaggerate and lie about themselves. They'll demand your attention while neglecting your needs. Worse, they often view their child's increasing independence and autonomy as a threat to their own interests.
Narcissists aren't always cruel. They can very often be kind, but this kindness almost always comes with conditions. The child will often come to understand that their parent's kindness leads them to feeling beholden to their parent.
“Narcissistic parents beget kids with a whole host of psychological problems,” Durvasula says. These problems include higher than average rates of depression and anxiety, lack of self-regulation, eating disorders, low self-esteem, an impaired sense of self, substance abuse and perfectionism.
Key points. Signs of a father being a narcissist include if he is self-centered, vain, does not take criticism well, demands perfection, and goes into rages. Daughters of narcissistic fathers may feel they never get enough attention. Sons of narcissistic dads may feel they can never measure up.
In narcissistic families, children are pitted against each other and taught competition. There is a constant comparison of who is doing better and who is not. Some are favored or seen as "the golden child," and others become the scapegoat for a parent's projected negative feelings.
The tragic reality is that narcissists don't (and can't) love their children in the way that ordinary people do. They will tell you that they do (and most likely they will believe that they do), but their love can only be of the transactional, conditional type, even with their children.
It's a phenomenon called the narcissistic abuse cycle. This cycle is broken down into three important phases: idealization, devaluation, and rejection. By understanding these key points, people who are struggling with narcissism or those who are in a relationship with a narcissist can get the help they need.
Toxic People, for the Most Part, Are Narcissists
Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.
She Cares A Lot About What Other People Think
While it's fine to want nice things, your mom likely takes it to the extreme. "Narcissists like to display a high status and emphasize their prestige," Hershenon says. "If your mom flashes new purchases or brags constantly, she may be a narcissist."
In general, a narcissistic mother may have a hard time identifying or connecting to the needs of a young child, for example. They may tend to use manipulation or guilt-based tactics with older children or adults. They could also play the victim in some situations.