Other reasons that you are being mean may include: You cannot handle your own negative emotions, so you lash out at others. Your ego feels threatened, so you are mean as a form of defense. You envy someone else's life or accomplishments, so you want to hurt them.
Most of the time, it's because people think they have the power to make others do what they want. They may not even realize it, but sometimes they're trying to control you. And if you don't conform to their rules, they try to teach you a lesson. They're just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
Anxiety and/or High Amounts of Stress
If it gets too high, stress can increase the number and intensity of your irritable outbursts. Think about how it feels to have a lot to do, but not enough time to do it. You feel nervous, vulnerable, and pissed off. You may also feel anxious.
Psychologists reveal why nice people sometimes get punished with meanness for their good behaviour. People who are generous and cooperative can get punished by others for being 'too good', research finds. Humans in all cultures can be suspicious of those who appear nicer or better than the rest.
When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.
Examples. Shaming, humiliation. Demeaning comments. Spiteful behavior, backstabbing behavior. Constant distorted or misrepresented nitpicking/faultfinding.
Many factors can cause or contribute to irritability, including life stress, a lack of sleep, low blood sugar levels, and hormonal changes. Extreme irritability, or feeling irritable for an extended period, can sometimes indicate an underlying condition, such as an infection or diabetes.
It's common to feel irritable from time to time, but if you feel unusually irritable or irritable all the time or on edge, it is important that you talk to your doctor as it could be a symptom of a mental health condition, like depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder, or a physical condition.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
It could be something as simple as being hungry or tired. Or, maybe something recently happened in your life that has you feeling scared, angry, or stressed out. Mental health struggles can also make you irritable, so if you haven't taken one of our mental health test yet, try that.
Researchers found that overt irritability or anger, which was present in approximately 54.5% of participants, was associated with: More severe and chronic depressive illness. Poorer impulse control. Higher rates of lifetime comorbid substance misuse and anxiety disorder.
While you may not realize it, this persistent anger could actually be a sign of depression. Some people living with depression notice increased feelings of anger and irritability, directed both toward themselves and others.
If people are being mean to you--or you think "Why is everyone mean to me?"--remember these three things: They could be dealing with something major in their own life. You could be seeing something that's not really there. They could be legitimately being mean to you because you have something they want.
You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
People who experience mental health issues like anxiety or depression may also struggle with how to be nice to people because of the way they are feeling. It can be difficult for someone struggling with a mood disorder to have the energy, or positivity, to engage in niceties.
One reason people are meanest to those they are closest to could be they are really hurt and angry deep down and when they are relaxed, they feel free to let it out around people they think won't leave or reject them. Another reason they're meanest could be they have been most disappointed by those they are closest to.
So when you find yourself sweating the small stuff, it might be a sign that there are other, deeper problems you aren't dealing with, making you liable to blow a gasket at any moment. Many people who overreact tend to overthink situations that don't go their way, leaving them incapable of thinking about anything else.
If everything annoys you all of the time, that's actually very normal, and the reason why probably has to do with your old friend, anxiety. "If someone is an anxious person, they're generally irritable and can feel thrown by things easily," says Andrea Bonior, PhD, clinical psychologist.