Practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Smile. Build your confidence this way. Then branch out to do this with new friends, too.
In general though, here are the ways shy people have a harder time meeting friends: They're more hesitant to start conversations, especially with larger groups. They aren't as smooth or at ease during the opening small talk / getting to know you stages of a conversation with someone new.
Get involved in group activities. Join clubs or groups to meet like-minded people. Think about what interests you or something you've wanted to learn more about, whether that be soccer, board games, or movies, and look for clubs or teams at your school or local community center.
But here's the good news: Shyness can be overcome. With time and effort and a desire to change, it's possible to break through. If your shyness is severe, you may need help from a therapist or counselor, but most people can overcome it on their own.
While everybody feels a certain degree of shyness when meeting people for the first time, there are definite dangers associated with too much shyness. Not only does excessive shyness lead to greater loneliness and poorer quality relationships, it can also lead to problems with emotional well-being such as depression.
One of the main reasons that introverts have a hard time making friends is that they are often seen as shy. People may not approach them because they seem uninterested or aloof. Introverts themselves may feel uncomfortable approaching a random stranger. They may feel awkward or out of place in large groups.
Friendships. It can be difficult for introverts to make new friends because getting to know someone takes so much energy. However, introverts don't need a wide circle of friends. They prefer one or two close friends, even though they may know many people and have many acquaintances.
In many cases, social awkwardness comes from extreme anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives.
Shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. It's also influenced by behaviors they've learned, the ways people have reacted to their shyness, and life experiences they've had. Genetics. Our genes determine our physical traits, like height, eye color, skin color, and body type.
Shyness doesn't always go away over time, but children can learn to be more confident and comfortable interacting with other people.
In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner. And what group of people are much more likely than average to have this highly sought-after trait? Yep, shy people.
To others, you appear modest, empathetic and non-threatening, which are all attractive qualities. So, while shy people will often ponder for a long time before they approach someone, when they do, they tend to have a consistently good experience.
People who work together often form strong connections. Meet people by volunteering with a community center, charitable group, hospital, museum, or place of worship. Join a social circle. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to surround yourself with people who have large friend groups of their own, O'Brien says.
The notion that people are born shy is simply a belief about shyness, not a fact, about shyness. There are many things shy individuals can do to control their shyness instead of letting their shyness control them--biology is not destiny.
Myth 5: Shy people have low self-esteem
Shyness can affect how you see yourself and may make you feel insecure in some aspects. While a person with low self-esteem might act shy or have a tendency to keep to themselves, it doesn't mean that someone who experiences shyness is also experiencing low self-esteem.
When you hear the word introvert, you might think of someone who's shy or quiet and prefers to be alone. While that may be true for some introverts, there's much more to this personality type. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert all depends on how you process the world around you.
Most children feel shy from time to time but the lives of some are severely curtailed by their shyness. Children who suffer from extreme shyness may grow out of it as they mature or they may grow up to be shy adults. Parents can help their children to overcome mild shyness.
Shyness is a personality trait, like introversion, that generally doesn't raise cause for concern. Social anxiety, on the other hand, is an anxiety disorder that can seriously impact one's life and cause them to avoid even activities they enjoy and want to do.