When INFJs care about someone they try to shine a light on that person's hidden strengths or even obvious positive qualities. It's important for them to make someone they love feel appreciated, uplifted, and inspired to embrace what makes them unique.
#1 – They Give Up Their Alone Time for You
If an INFJ gives up their alone time to talk on the phone or meet up with you spontaneously, there's a good chance they care about you. Just try to look out for further signs that they might be flirting because they can drop everything for a friend too!
INFJs love when you help them out with something they may not be able to do for themselves, such as take care of them when they are sick or help them with housework (especially something they loathe).
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same.
When INFJs are continually hurt or hurt bad enough, they slam the door on that toxic relationship. The well-known INFJ door slam isn't about punishing the other person. It's about protecting ourselves from more hurt. Even though many INFJs can seem to have a cold exterior, our hearts are soft.
However, it might be worse for INFJs to push down or ignore the thoughts swirling in our heads. Talking with someone or writing down what you're thinking about is often the best way for INFJs to move on rather than become obsessive.
INFJs value deep and meaningful connections with others, and they thrive on authentic conversations. They deeply appreciate people who are genuine and sincere as well. Generally, they prefer small groups or one-on-one interactions where they can connect with others on a deeper level.
In a relationship, they hope they can finally be open about their thoughts, feelings, visions, and perceptions. They want a partner who is transparent and real with them; someone who shares their feelings and discusses both their strengths and mistakes.
If an INFJ gets personal with you about their emotions and life details, it means they like you and want you to be interested in them. They will share things about their life, family, and dreams. Once they can trust you, they will even express their deep emotions about people and situations.
True vulnerability may be challenging at first, so INFJs need partners who can be patient until trust is built in the relationship. The feelings of those closest to them, including romantic partners, are like an open book to INFJs and they tend to assume that others can see into their hearts just as easily.
These introverts are hopeless romantics who tend to fall in love easily, but they also struggle to make the first move, flirt and show love once they're in a relationship. Because of their unique and rare personality type, INFJs tend to struggle in relationships, but that doesn't have to be the case.
INFJs are incredibly loyal, and when they love, they love more deeply and fiercely than even they can fathom; they desperately want the people in their life to feel appreciated. However, this behavior can backfire, as constant communication and “How are you doing? Are you doing OK?” can be seen as clingy.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
Commitment and Marriage
Those with INFJ traits do well in committed relationships and marriage, although they may have a hard time finding a partner who can give them the deep, emotional connection that they crave. Those with INFJ traits value loyalty, respect, and relational intimacy.
The INFJ door slam happens when an INFJ “slams the door” on your relationship. They shut down and block you out, often with little or no explanation. This reaction can be jarring, especially for the person on the receiving end of the door slam.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
This sensitive personality type possess an enormous strength — compassion. Yet sometimes INFJs run the risk of going beyond just helping someone and serving as a catalyst for their growth. Instead, they try to “fix” a toxic person who doesn't take accountability for their own healing.
Interruptions, noise, and excessive sensory stimulation will push an INFJ to the edge of their comfort zone.
I always feel awkward around them if they're not my friend. I will avoid them at all costs but at the same time wish I had actually talked to them. If we do get to talk, I'm going to be fighting a battle inside about what to say. I normally end up saying weird and random things I always regret.
An INFJ might flirt by asking someone to listen to a song that might help convey feelings the INFJ can't verbalize. We flirt by being awkward. Do we spend a lot of time around them and try to catch a quick glimpse, and then turn away? We flirt with time.
INFJs are most likely to marry someone who shares their values and vision for the future, regardless of their personality type. INFJs are more likely to marry someone who values emotional depth and intimacy and is dedicated to personal growth and development.