Narcissists drama is an excellent tool for triangulation. This is where they play two or more people off against each other. The narcissist switches roles between victim, persecutor, and rescuer. And bait people into disliking each other.
One tactic they use is to keep their victims on their toes. They do this by lying about the past, and manipulating someone's present so they feel like they are going crazy. They also switch between being calm and placid to being fierce and terrifying in an instant — a bit like Jekyll and Hyde.
That's why these manipulators drop unsettling comments about how attractive they find someone, hint at sexual affairs, or boast about how often they are hit on. This is a way to provoke you into reacting and vying for their affection.
By creating chaos that is designed to make you appear “crazy” or “unstable”, narcissists are able to project their negative emotions onto you because they have someone that they can point their finger at and say “See, I'm not the vulnerable, unlovable, unwanted, self-loathing, delusional, and insecure one, they are” .
They are hostile and vindictive. They also have trouble understanding right from wrong, causing them to easily hurt others without feeling guilty. Narcissists with a malignant streak are also aggressive, manipulative, dishonest, abusive, and sadistic at times. They're easily angered and ready to take revenge.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
They're looking to poke you about something you care about or are sensitive about." But once the person emotionally responds to the narcissist's baiting, they'll shift blame, making the other person "the problem." "It's a power play, form of regulation.
Types of Narcissistic Rage
Explosive rage: The person hurls insults, screams and yells, and may even threaten other people or harm themselves. Passive rage: The person retreats into a period of sulking and refuses to engage with you.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
A narcissist may have a breakdown if their supply is cut off and they feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or out of control. Narcissistic breakdown symptoms can include rage, impulsive behaviors, or other ways of showcasing intense mental suffering.
Exaggerated victimhood is a common feature of narcissistic grandiosity. Narcissistic personalities often feel victimized because of their unrealistic expectations, hypersensitivity, and lack of empathy. Narcissists also play the victim to elicit sympathy and avoid responsibility for their abusive behavior.
What games do people with narcissistic personality disorder play? Those who live with NPD often have low self-esteem. As a result, many relationship games they play may revolve around maintaining a sense of control, so they don't have to be confronted with the shame that they may feel inside.
People with a need for drama often display personality disorders including borderline, psychopathic, and narcissistic disorders. When you are raised in a family where drama plays a central role—perhaps as the result of being raised by a narcissistic or borderline parent—you learn that this is just how people act.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
When the narcissist is low on narcissistic supply, they will then use your words against you to feel better about themselves. Their knowledge of the areas in which you have struggles allows them to better blame shift and make the problem about you when they feel targeted and backed into the wall.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Next steps. Experiencing a relationship with someone who lives with NPD can be challenging. While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care.