Like people with autism, people with Asperger's syndrome have a dreadful time understanding what is going on, socially. They do not always pay attention to the social scene in which they find themselves, and even when they do, they are often not able to make sense of what they see, or to respond appropriately.
Differences in communication
Autistic people, including those with Asperger syndrome, often communicate differently. They may have difficulties with interpreting both verbal and non-verbal language like gestures or tone of voice, or it may take them a little longer to understand.
People with Asperger's also have strengths that make them wonderful partners. They tend to be honest, loyal, humorous, and champions of the underdog. Autistic people don't often get caught up in social constructs, so they can see right to the heart of what matters.
Symptoms of Asperger's syndrome
Craving repetition and routine (and not responding well to change). Missing social cues in play and conversation. Not making eye contact with peers and adults.
What are the Symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome? Children with Asperger's Syndrome exhibit poor social interactions, obsessions, odd speech patterns, limited facial expressions and other peculiar mannerisms. They might engage in obsessive routines and show an unusual sensitivity to sensory stimuli.
Adults who experience Asperger's may find it challenging to deal with their emotional responses to situations or events. This can cause the person to react inappropriately or have emotional outbursts. People may also have difficulty understanding the emotional experiences of others.
Partners have reported problems with sexual knowledge and intimacy. Adults with Asperger's syndrome tend to be at the extremes of sexual knowledge, having either remarkably little information on sexuality and few sexual experiences, or a great deal of knowledge from pornography or being sexually abused.
Someone with an ASD also may be conspicuously immature in his or her expressions of affection, and sometimes may perceive these expressions of affection as aversive experiences. For example, a hug may be perceived as an uncomfortable squeeze that restricts movement.
Verbally expressing love
You may find your partner with Asperger's doesn't say “I love you,” or express their emotions, as often as you need them to. Mendes says this may be because, to your partner, the love between you two has already been established. They might see no need to vocalize emotions any further.
People with Asperger's can miss social cues that can be obvious to someone that doesn't have the disorder, like understanding what body language is, or even understanding facial expressions.
I have found, as an Aspie among neurotypical folks, that having realistic expectations of others is of critical importance in order to be happy. The higher your expectations are of the people around you, the more likely you are to feel let down by them at some point, even when they haven't done anything wrong.
Individuals with ASDs commonly have a low frustration tolerance and significant irritability. They may report that they alternate from calm to extreme anger very quickly. There have been several studies that suggest individuals with ASDs have difficulty understanding and interpreting their own emotions.
It should be noted that though kids with Asperger's don't usually have language deficits-they can be very talkative, in fact-many on the autism spectrum do have difficulty communicating verbally, which is partly why new diagnostic criteria will stress social communication deficits and restricted interests.
The partner with Aspergers can behave intrusively. The partner with Aspergers may “shut-down” if they don't know what to say or how to behave. They may disengage with partner or family indefinitely. The partner with Aspergers may have great difficulty cooperating with others or working as part of a team or unit.
Dating can be hard for adults with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's. Many autistic adults struggle with discerning if their romantic interest is being honest. When their partner is not open and vulnerable from the beginning, they assume that means they are being dishonest.
People with Asperger profiles may not show their feelings in the same way, or to the same extent, as those without. They may manifest feelings less outwardly, or their facial expression might not match what the individual is feeling inside.
The Asperger's mind enjoys and focuses on details, while the normal mind is more skilled at assembling whole concepts from details. Some people with Asperger's are visual thinkers and others are math, music, or number thinkers, but all think in specifics.
It is not always possible to know if someone has Asperger's (now called “autism spectrum disorder,” and was formerly called "high-functioning autism"), which causes people to have difficulty in social interactions, but most people with Asperger's have difficulty relating to others in some form.
Meltdowns tend to be triggered by sensory overload, communication issues, and/or social situations. People who experience meltdowns tend to describe them as a complete loss of control which, once they're able to reflect, was found to be triggered by a relatively minor stimulus.
Kids with Aspergers begin to talk at the expected age, saying their first words around 12 months of age. However, their actual first words are often unusual (e.g., such first words as palm pilot, sheetrock, clock, mountain, fish, hammer). These words are generally used before the youngster says “mommy” or “daddy.”
Asperger's and ADHD are two conditions that are often confused because they have some overlap in symptoms such as social difficulties and impulsiveness. Additionally, it's common for people to have both conditions.