If you have quiet BPD, you may have low self-esteem and often feel angry, depressed, or anxious. In addition, you may have a history of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or both.
For example, while a person with typical BPD might show outward signs of rage, a person with quiet BPD might turn that rage inward and engage in self destructive behaviors. Similarly, a person with typical BPD might have crying fits or throw tantrums, while someone with quiet BPD will become moody and withdrawn.
Frequent Mood Swings
Experiencing a frequently changing roller coaster of emotions is a common quiet BPD symptom. Someone with other BPD forms might act out towards those around them when this happens, but someone with quiet BPD often sits with their everchanging emotions in silence.
Of the 1.4% of adults in the United States2 living with BPD, a common thread that runs through them is a special connection to a person in their lives. This individual is often described as their 'favorite person,' and may be anyone from a teacher, to a best friend, or even a family member.
Difficulties expressing emotions: Someone with quiet BPD struggles with experiencing and expressing their emotions. They may be unable to identify what they feel, let alone put words to this. Perfectionism: Those with quiet BPD may hold themselves to much higher standards than they hold everyone else too.
Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.
If, in the case of regular BPD, emotional outbursts are externalised and directed towards other people, with quiet BPD, these outbursts remain hidden. A person with quiet BPD “acts in” rather than “act out”, and, even though this might not be so obvious to others, they experience deep internal turmoil.
While those with BPD have intense impulsivity, anger outbursts, and episodes of anxiety and depression that are obvious to those around them, turning anger inward is more typical with quiet BPD.
Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears. They also reported less awareness of the influence of crying on others.
Individuals living with quiet BPD may have decreased levels of empathy, high conflict relationships, clinginess and fear of abandonment, adds Dr. Lira de la Rosa. “The combination of these symptoms can lead to unstable interpersonal relationships, low self-esteem and periods of depression.”
Individuals with cPTSD tend to have a more stable sense of Self but struggle with consistent feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and shame. Individuals with BPD, on the other hand, have a more unstable sense of Self – they may not know who they are at their core and frequently change their interests and hobbies.
In quiet BPD, you turn your pain inward and hurt yourself rather than lash out at others. In high-functioning BPD, you shield your conscious and unconscious anxieties and relational wound with a facade of normalcy. In both cases, your deepest pain remains buried.
As with 'classic BPD', you have a deep fear of abandonment, but instead of fighting for attachment in the form of clinginess, in quiet BPD you believe you deserve to be abandoned. The self-loathing can drive you to isolate yourself for days and weeks.
The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.
One of the key features of BPD is the push-pull dynamics, which occur when individuals have a strong urge for intimacy and deep connection with someone, but their fear of rejection and abandonment leads them to push the person away.
Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions. Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
A person with BPD may exhibit impulsive behavior in a variety of areas, including overspending, substance abuse, or reckless driving. A person with BPD who struggles with impulsive behavior will be impulsive in multiple areas. For example, you might binge eat, talk excessively, and engage in self-injurious behavior.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
Identifying Episodes
Intense angry outbursts. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm behavior. Going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn. Paranoia, feeling as if there is someone out to get you.
Although there is sometimes a reduction of Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms as a person ages, it is dangerous to assume that you can just wait out the disorder and hope to get better. Generally, the symptoms of BPD are worse in one's early years and tend to decrease during the 30s and 40s.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has long been believed to be a disorder that produces the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.