To disarm a manipulator, postpone your answer to give yourself time to ponder, question their intent, look disinterested by not reacting, establish boundaries and say no firmly, maintain your self-respect by not apologizing when they blame you for their problems, and apply fogging to acknowledge any mistakes and end ...
The manipulator may experience physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual distress due to a guilty conscience and shame. The manipulator may feel stress and anxiety from having to constantly “cover” themselves, for fear of being found out and exposed.
Be direct. You want to make sure you don't leave things ambiguous. A manipulative person is likely to try to find a way back into your life, so make it very clear the relationship is over. Find a time when you're both free to have a sit down talk about why things are ending.
It's not just that emotional manipulators keep you bound to them, it's that you keep yourself bound to them by needing and seeking their approval and validation, which, of course, they give or withhold to get what they want from you. They know just how much to give and take to keep you coming back.
Consider having an honest and direct conversation with your partner to address the manipulation. If you are being manipulated, you might name specific examples of their behavior and how it affects you. Be specific in describing the forms of manipulation and your feelings in response to them.
Fragile self-esteem is one of the biggest manipulators' weaknesses. Most of the behavior of manipulators stems from their low self-esteem and they try to make up for it through their dark tactics. Generally, a manipulator is self-conscious about his abilities as an individual and has deep-seated insecurities.
Rather, they are there to keep you down and make themselves feel like they have power and control over you. That's not to say a manipulative person cannot change – they absolutely can. Just make sure that their actions back up any spoken desire to change or improve the relationship.
Manipulation of Facts
A manipulator will lie to you, make excuses, blame you, or strategically share facts about them and withhold other truths. In doing this, they feel they are gaining power over you and gaining intellectual superiority.
The behavior of people with borderline personality disorder is often interpreted as emotional manipulation. Indeed, when you love someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it can feel as if you are walking on eggshells, never knowing what might trigger them.
Ignoring a manipulator can be fraught with complications, but it can also have a significant positive impact on your emotional health. As you distance yourself from the manipulator's toxic influence, you allow yourself the space to heal from any emotional turmoil they may have caused.
Manipulated? Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.
Master manipulators often possess a high level of emotional intelligence and (manufactured) empathy. Of course, they aren't actually empathetic, but they know how to access it for their own benefit. They're very good at sensing other people's emotions and exploiting them to their advantage.
Others may exhibit controlling or manipulative behavior. While many people associate a sense of control with strength, when people feel insecure, their controlling behavior is usually a response to fear of rejection.
Look for signs of discomfort, anxiety, or insecurity in their behavior. People often reveal their insecurities and weaknesses through nonverbal cues such as slouching, fidgeting, or avoiding eye contact. Observing these cues, you can gain valuable insights into a person's thoughts and feelings. Listen to what they say.
Psychologists say the root cause of manipulative behavior can often be toxic cycles of violence, narcissism, or unhealthy relationships in the manipulator's own childhood.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.