The reason you can't get over your crush is that you have accidentally trained yourself into a mental habit of constantly seeking them. The excitement and euphoria of that initial romantic connection makes them the central focus of your life, and because it feels so intoxicating and good, you don't resist.
If thoughts about your crush have become that intrusive, it is likely you are suffering with limerence. This is a mental state of obsessive infatuation that is characterised by intrusive thoughts that you just can't seem to turn off.
A Crush Will Not Last Forever. Most crushes are short-lived--they either progress into a romantic relationship or dissolve within a few weeks or months. Often a person can experience heartache, helplessness, loneliness, stress, regret, embarrassment, fear, and frustration after a crush does not work out.
When you spend time with someone and share vulnerabilities, it's easy to develop feelings of closeness and attraction. These positive feelings can develop into a crush, even when the other person is romantically unavailable. Traits such as kindness, intelligence, and a great sense of humor can fuel a crush.
So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
Even if you feel stuck in some intense feelings about this crush, it's good to know that the most destructive and heart-wrenching feelings of disappointment will pass soon. According to modern psychologists and studies, most crushes only last four months.
Sure, it might seem like dudes aren't riding that same crazy roller coaster of emotions that we are —but it turns out that they totally ARE. Over on Reddit's AskMen, guys opened up about how they really feel when they have a crush, and it sounds like they turn into piles of mush, too.
One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW. So basically, if you've been feeling this way about your special person for a looong time, it's definitely possible that you're in love.
The good news is that dreaming about a crush represents doors of possibility opening up in your life, says Arzt. “You may be excited about the idea of being with your crush, but it can also mean you're excited about anything else that lies ahead,” she says. “Dreams can shed insight into your desires.
Try to think of rejection as an opportunity to find a better situation with someone who will feel the same way about you. If your crush didn't think you'd be compatible together, that just means that there's someone else out there with whom you'll be even more compatible.
