Focus on non-judgmental, compassionate responses which help reduce shame. You might say “I'm so sorry you had to experience that,” or “you didn't deserve that, and you deserve support now,” or “I want you to know you're not alone,” or “you did what you have to do to survive.”
Relax – use relaxation techniques such as yoga, breathing or meditation, or do things you enjoy, such as listening to music or gardening. Express your feelings as they arise – talk to someone about your feelings or write them down. When the trauma brings up memories or feelings, try to confront them.
All kinds of trauma create stress reactions. People often say that their first feeling is relief to be alive after a traumatic event. This may be followed by stress, fear and anger. Trauma may also lead people to find they are unable to stop thinking about what happened.
There are actually 5 of these common responses, including 'freeze', 'flop' and 'friend', as well as 'fight' or 'flight'. The freeze, flop, friend, fight or flight reactions are immediate, automatic and instinctive responses to fear. Understanding them a little might help you make sense of your experiences and feelings.
It's quite another to commit to discussing it with someone else. The truth about trauma therapy is that it may make you feel worse at times. Trauma shatters a person's sense of safety, so it's vital to find a mental health professional you feel comfortable sharing with and trust to lead you through the healing process.
Face your feelings.
It's normal to want to avoid thinking about a traumatic event. But not leaving the house, sleeping excessively, isolating yourself from loved ones, and using substances to escape reminders are not healthy ways to cope over time.
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
But repetitive, nearly constant apologies for every little thing—or, what Psychologist Paige Carambio, PsyD calls, “apologizing for existing”—can actually be an after-effect of trauma, a self-preservation technique survivors may think they still need to utilize in order to protect themselves.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
Adults who have experienced childhood trauma often have heightened anxiety levels. They may worry excessively and have trouble managing their anxiety. Childhood trauma can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, lack of interest in activities, and difficulty experiencing pleasure.
Difficulty trusting others. Feeling unsafe. Using drugs, alcohol or behaviors to numb anxiety or distress. Avoiding friends, loved ones or activities you used to enjoy.
Activities like yoga or exercise have been shown to be beneficial in healing from (or at least alleviating) the effects of trauma. Taking on hobbies you're interested in, such as painting, boxing, a dance class or just going for daily walks, can also be part of self-care.
Young Children and Trauma. Children can experience trauma as early as infancy. In fact, young children between the ages of 0 and 5 are the most vulnerable to the effects of trauma since their brains are still in the early formative years.
If we aren't able to process and overcome a traumatic experience, we may develop other physical and mental health disorders, like anxiety, depression, and even PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
The effects of exposure to trauma in childhood have repeatedly been linked to the development of maladaptive personality traits and personality disorders [1,2,3,4]. In contrast, much less is known about personality related problems that may arise in adulthood.
Symptoms. PTSD symptoms get grouped into four types; avoidance, intrusive memories, adverse changes in mood and thinking, and negative changes in physical and emotional responses. Symptoms include: Flashbacks about the event (can feel like reliving the experience all over again)
The trauma-informed approach is guided four assumptions, known as the “Four R's”: Realization about trauma and how it can affect people and groups, recognizing the signs of trauma, having a system which can respond to trauma, and resisting re-traumatization.
Responses to trauma can last for weeks to months before people start to feel normal again. Most people report feeling better within three months after a traumatic event. If the problems become worse or last longer than one month after the event, the person may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).