Take a mental step back and assess the situation before responding. This will help you process the criticism and form space for you to think clearly. You can also choose not to react at all. You might think you're the one who's done something wrong but that's not always the case.
For highly sensitive people, those reactions are wired deeply into our brains. When we receive negative feedback, we root into our “emotional brain,” which bypasses our “thinking brain.” The “emotional brain” (also known as the limbic system) is where our databank of triggers and past emotional memories are stored.
HSPs tend to have more intense reactions to criticism than their non-sensitive counterparts, and as a result will often employ certain tactics to avoid criticism, such as people-pleasing, criticizing themselves first (before the other person has a chance to), and avoiding the source of the criticism altogether.
Being an HSP comes with both advantages and challenges. It is possible to be too easily offended by people who mean no harm or who are trying their best to be kind. It is also possible to overreact to daily stressors or relationship issues, particularly if you become emotionally aggressive as a response.
The relationship between highly sensitive people and anger is a much-misunderstood topic. Due to traits of their personality, heightened empathy or childhood conditioning, many highly sensitive people have repressed anger, and do not know how to deal with their emotions healthily.
INFJs are highly sensitive to the words and deeds of those close to them. INFJ is regarded as the most sensitive personality type. Some estimates suggest that 80 to 90% of people who test as INFJs also test as highly sensitive people, because the traits of the two overlap so much.
Defining the HSP Personality
A highly sensitive person is wired to respond quickly and strongly to everything that is going on around them. Their five senses are heightened, and they often display exceptional emotional sensitivity.
Most HSPs are either INFJs or INFPs — the ones that don't tend to be ENFJs or ENFPs. Whether you're one or both, it's important to know what stresses you, what overstimulates you and what makes you feel calm, relaxed and happy.
Most highly sensitive people display rare strengths in key areas of emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ) — the ability to recognize and understand emotions in themselves and others. These strengths including self-awareness and social-awareness.
HSPs often struggle with overthinking, feeling like an imposter, and feeling like they are always doing something wrong.
Someone who knows how to have an authentic connection — they like deep conversations about feelings, emotions, and aspirations. Superficial relationships made up of small talk hold no value to highly sensitive people.
Emotionally intelligent people take the time to hear what's being said, and ask questions to make sure they understand the criticism fully. Your first instinct might be to immediately respond or defend yourself, but resist the urge; I life coach my clients to delay their response until they've gathered their thoughts.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism
People with avoidant personality disorder are very sensitive to anything critical, disapproving, or mocking because they constantly think about being criticized or rejected by others. They are vigilant for any sign of a negative response to them.
Steps to handle criticism:
Don't take it personally. Allow yourself time to process your emotions. If you need to, ask for time to process the criticism, or for more information and reassurance to help you understand the situation. Consider if you have been offered toxic criticism or constructive feedback.
1. Jealousy. The dictionary defines jealousy as "feelings of worry over the potential loss of something valuable." In business, experiencing jealousy is fairly common, but those feelings are amplified if you're a highly sensitive person.
High sensitivity is thought to have genetic roots, and some specific gene variants have been associated with the trait. But early childhood environments may play a role as well; evidence suggests that early experiences may have an epigenetic effect on the genes associated with sensitivity.
HSPs are typically highly intelligent, and seek out opportunities to do deep work. Many HSPs are academics, artists, researchers, scientists and technicians with high level proficiency. HSPs are deep learners, and so enjoy going deep on their chosen subjects, and often gain proficiency early in life.
The three subtypes of highly sensitive people include Aesthetic Sensitivity (AES), Low Sensory Threshold (LST), and Ease of Excitation (EOE). Before we explain what each of these means, it's important to note that HSPs can fit into more than one subtype, each subtype has its own characteristics.
Highly sensitive people are not the same as emotionally needy, whiny, complainers. They aren't victims, and they're not making up problems just to get attention. We all know people like that, but there are key differences: Victims are focused on themselves, while HSPs are often focused on others.
If someone's levels are high, overwhelm will occur much more quickly. If someone is unable to self-regulate or decrease the overwhelm, then a meltdown can occur. Meltdowns are often mistaken for tantrums in children as they will throw themselves around, scream, cry, or lash out much like they would during a tantrum.
Last but certainly not the least, it's well worth noting that HSPs can hate just as passionately as they can love. Although it's not something they like to do, Highly Sensitive People can hold grudges like nobody's business because they're so used to taking everything to heart.