Relationships are complicated, and sometimes, the situation calls for maintaining a relationship with a person who caused trauma. Consider doing so only after you know you can be physically safe. And remember, if the situation gets worse, don't hesitate to do what you need to do to maintain safety.
In some cases, dating someone with trauma can take a toll on the relationship, while some successfully enjoy a long, happy partnership with constant support and love. Someone recovering from trauma may not react to situations that make sense to you, mainly if the unpleasant event is recent or intense.
When you experience a traumatic event or series of traumatic events it can lead to self-limiting beliefs and feelings of shame. It might make it difficult for you to assert yourself and set boundaries within a relationship, or even know what a “healthy” relationship looks like.
Whether the trauma was physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact can show up in a host of relationship issues. Survivors often believe deep down that no one can really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream.
Trauma can make it extremely difficult to maintain relationships as it forces us to constantly remain in 'fight or flight' mode. Feeling constantly on edge and that you need to be on high alert at all times makes it extremely difficult to trust another person.
Difficulty trusting others. Feeling unsafe. Using drugs, alcohol or behaviors to numb anxiety or distress. Avoiding friends, loved ones or activities you used to enjoy.
Even minor traumas, like the feeling “my parents never heard me,” can lead you to be attracted to, or hypersensitive to, someone who struggles to be present with you.
Some long-term impacts of trauma bonding include remaining in abusive relationships, having adverse mental health outcomes like low self-esteem, negative self image, and increased likelihood of depression and bipolar disorder, and perpetuating a generational cycle of abuse.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
Living through traumatic events may result in expectations of danger, betrayal, or potential harm within new or old relationships. Survivors may feel vulnerable and confused about what is safe, and therefore it may be difficult to trust others, even those whom they trusted in the past.
Trauma bonding is a type of attachment that can form between two people who have gone through a traumatic experience together. Or, more likely, you may share a compatible attachment pattern that stems from childhood emotional trauma. This bond is characterized by feelings of dependency, neediness, and fear.
One way to determine whether you're in a healthy relationship or a trauma bond is to focus on how your relationship consistently makes you feel. A healthy relationship makes you feel supported, secure, and confident, while a trauma bond makes you feel fearful, anxious, or put down.
Adults may display sleep problems, increased agitation, hypervigilance, isolation or withdrawal, and increased use of alcohol or drugs. Older adults may exhibit increased withdrawal and isolation, reluctance to leave home, worsening of chronic illnesses, confusion, depression, and fear (DeWolfe & Nordboe, 2000b).
The toxic stress caused by childhood trauma can be harmful. It may damage or delay the healthy development of a child's body and brain. This can leave them vulnerable to chronic health problems, risky behaviors, and mental illness as adults.
Clingy Behavior in the Context of
Taking into account the causes of clinginess, it becomes clear that this behavior is often the result of attachment trauma – not receiving the closeness, comfort, and security a child needs to feel safe.
Outcomes of Trauma Exposure
Women's experiences of trauma have been linked to a variety of negative mental health consequences, including especially PTSD (4). Estimates from community studies suggest that women experience PTSD at two to three times the rate that men do (4).
Traumatized individuals have an extreme mistrust of the Arousal Cycle. As they are reminded of the traumatic experiences that they have gone through, feelings of fear and frustration begin to smother and overwhelm them.
Conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can negatively affect a person's ability to feel and show affection.