Siblings of an individual with a mental illness can experience a wide range of emotions such as confusion, anger, hopelessness, and grief. This can especially be true if the person takes a supportive and/ or caregiving role.
Growing up in this situation can have a profound impact on siblings' relationship to self and others. Indeed, many siblings display signs of chronic anxiety and an insecure avoidant attachment style. In addition, they have a very real difficulty in holding compassion for themselves or managing conflictual situations.
Feeling invisible to a sibling with special needs is one experience that social scientists describe as the “well sibling syndrome.” Kids who have siblings with cognitive delays, physical disabilities or mental health issues can feel ignored or defined by their sibling's special needs.
Glass children are siblings of a person with a disability. The word glass means people tend to see right through them and focus only on the person with the disability. “Glass” is also used because the children appear strong, but in reality are not.
Oldest child syndrome refers to a number of characteristics people develop as an outcome of being the first-born. For instance, following the birth of another baby, the firstborn goes from being the “only child” of their parents to having to share their parent's love and attention with a younger sibling.
Well into adulthood, siblings keep influencing one another's mental health and well-being. Warm sibling relationships—those with more affection and intimacy and less conflict—are a source of material and emotional support, with the power to protect against loneliness and depression.
Hence, first-borns may be more likely to feel more emotional distress than younger siblings and only one child and, in turn, have an increased risk of conduct problems.
The first born may experience certain emotions differently than the middle and youngest child or visa versa. According to Adler, the first born is more susceptible to depression because of high expectations of parents and suddenly losing the attention due to another sibling being born.
If an individual grows up with mentally ill parents, it can be challenging to deal with them. Children of mentally ill parents see pain, suffering, and sometimes mental and physical abuse. Being raised in a negative environment can have lasting and devastating effects.
As much as you might love or care for the individual, if they are emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive, it is okay to step away from the situation. Some examples of emotional, mental, and physical abuse include: Emotional & Mental Abuse: Being dissatisfied, no matter how hard you try or how much you give.
The most obvious downside of being the oldest is that you're the guinea pig child for your parents. They learn how to parent properly through you, which can create a lot of animosity towards your younger siblings that were raised under the perfected parenting style. You're a built-in babysitter, and you don't get paid.
Often siblings of children with a chronic illness are called “shadow children” because they live in the blind spot of their parents. They are often alone with their grief and put their own needs aside for their siblings' needs.
What is a golden child? "When people use the term 'golden child' or 'golden child syndrome,' they are referring to a child who has been deemed by their family—most often the parents—to be exceptional in one way or another, but without a foundation for the attributed exceptionalism," explains Smith.
Try saying things like “I'm happy to come with you”, rather than “I'll go for you.” When a person is struggling with their mental health ask them what they need and how you can help them. This gives them control over how they are supported. Opening up this line of communication also allows you to set boundaries.