"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."
In order to overcome your fears of being alone and your loneliness, the first thing you have to do is acknowledge these issues. Simply be honest with yourself about your struggles and how you feel. The next step is to recognize you need to make a change and your need help to do so.
Some research suggests that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress.
What are the physical signs of loneliness? Physical signs of loneliness may include cold or flu-like symptoms that linger longer than usual, headaches, body aches, and insomnia or hypersomnia. With loneliness and isolation, attention is more inwardly focused.
A brain imaging study showed that feeling ostracized actually activates our neural pain matrix. In fact, several studies show that ostracizing others hurts us as much as being ostracized ourselves. We can hypothesize that, similarly, loneliness is associated with the pain matrix.
NEGATIVE EFFECTS
Loneliness and social isolation are also associated with increased blood pressure, higher cholesterol levels, depression and, if that weren't bad enough, decreases in cognitive abilities and Alzheimer's disease. Humans evolved to be around others.
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by loneliness, social isolation, a fear of abandonment, poor social and communication skills, and unstable, difficult interpersonal relationships. The loneliness of living with this condition can be extremely painful, but treatments can be effective.
When a feeling of being alone and disconnected persists for extended periods of time (often despite actually surrounding yourself with other humans), quality, rejuvenating alone time transitions into crippling loneliness.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.
Biologists have shown that feelings of loneliness trigger the release of stress hormones that in turn are associated with higher blood pressure, decreased resistance to infection and increased risk of cardiovascular disease and cancer.
It's possible to still feel lonely when you're around them, which could actually be a sign of depression or social anxiety. If this is the case for you, it may be a good idea to seek psychotherapy to help with feelings of loneliness, especially if you also feel other symptoms of depression.
There are different types of loneliness: emotional, and social and existential loneliness.
Most notably, researchers found that loneliness rates peak among people in their 20s, and reach their lowest point among those in their 60s. Many people also experience a spike in lonely feelings around their mid-40s. These findings are as confounding as they are surprising, at least initially.
"Loneliness can change the neurochemistry of the brain, turning off the dopamine neurons, which trigger the reward response, and causing some degeneration in the brain when the reward response is not activated," says Katherine Peters, MD, PhD, FAAN, associate professor of neurology and neurosurgery at Duke University.
Loneliness can affect your health in lots of ways. You may not be able to get out to buy healthy foods - or you may not have the motivation to cook for one. And not getting enough mental stimulation increases the chance of depression and dementia.
Your nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode, making it harder to sleep. When you're lonely, research shows that your brain can produce an excess of norepinephrine, a hormone that's a crucial “signal during the fight or flight response.” Loneliness can feel, to our social selves, like dire straits.
Stage 4: Depression. The despair of loneliness is an all-encompassing emotion.
Some of us are naturally introverts who need time alone to thrive. And there is nothing wrong with preferring your own company. And even an extrovert who prefers to be around others needs some alone time to stay in touch with themselves. But science shows that even if we are introverted, we need connection.