Forgive yourself.
Imagine a friend is telling you about the guilty thoughts you're having as though the thoughts were theirs and not yours. You would be kind to them. You would show compassion and remind them of all the good things they did for their pet. Now is the time to talk to yourself in the same way.
“One reason why losing a pet is such a deep loss is because animals' love is so unconditional and accepting,” she said. But it's also because so many aspects of people's lives are impacted. “Every single facet of life is part of the loss,” she explained.
Symptoms of acute grief after the loss of a pet can last from one to two months, with symptoms of grief persisting up to a full year (on average).
Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it's important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Feeling sad, shocked, or lonely is a normal reaction to the loss of a beloved pet.
However, the loss of that companion can be devastating and traumatic. Humans develop a lasting attachment with their pets, which breaks at the loss of the pet. Regardless of the manner of death, a pet owner may perceive the death as traumatic and experience distress or exhibit posttraumatic stress symptoms.
Guilt is a normal response to the death of a pet. We want to make sense out of what has happened and as a result, we frequently blame ourselves. Feelings of guilt should subside as you progress through the grieving process.
Seventy-five responders reported the loss of a pet and filled out a battery of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I've often written about PTSD; it's defined as the recurring memories and heightened state of arousal that lingers for more than a month after a traumatic event.
And yet the death of a family pet can remind us of how vulnerable, precarious and precious life is. It's that process of acceptance and letting go that builds the resilience necessary to navigate an array of life's obstacles. We hone an ability to adapt to the evanescence of our lives with grace and hope.
Research suggests that when people are in anguish over the loss of a pet, disenfranchised grief makes it more difficult for them to find solace, post-traumatic growth, and healing. Disenfranchised grief seems to restrain emotional expression in a way that makes it harder to process.
Pet Loss and Mental Health
Some people experience mental symptoms of grief, which may include confusion, trouble focusing, constant dwelling on your pet, or thinking you see or hear your pet. Loss of an animal companion can also lead to anxiety and depression for some people.
The grief that comes with losing a beloved pet can be all-consuming. In fact, the pain can actually manifest with physical symptoms that mimic a heart attack.
Crying after the death of a pet is a normal and healthy way of grieving. When we experience the death of a pet, the impact is profound, and at times it can be overwhelming.
If you believe that once a pet has passed away the body is just a shell, you can call your local animal control. They usually have low cost (or no cost) services to dispose of deceased pets. You can also call your veterinarian. You will need to bring your pet to the clinic but then they can arrange for disposal.
The scriptures I use make it clear that animals not only go to heaven when they die, but they will also be resurrected with us. However, they will have a much lesser glory than the sons of God. 1Corinthians 15:39-42 and Romans 8:19-23.
Christians who know and love each other on earth will know and love each other in heaven.
The consensus among the Christian denominations seems to be that, as Pope John Paul II said in 1990, animals do have souls. But they don't all agree on whether or not they're welcomed into heaven along with people.
Some dogs will know their time is approaching and will look to their people for comfort. Saying goodbye to your dog with love and grace means staying with your dog during these final hours, and reassuring them with gentle stroking and a soft voice.
Most experts agree that the time to get a new pet is after you have worked through your grief adequately to be able to look forward to a new pet instead of back at the recently departed one. That process could take a week or two – or many months.
Research suggests that when people are in anguish over the loss of a pet, disenfranchised grief makes it more difficult for them to find solace, post-traumatic growth, and healing. Disenfranchised grief seems to restrain emotional expression in a way that makes it harder to process.
The pets that we had to say goodbye to are alive in heaven right now in their spiritual bodies and we will see them again if we accept Jesus as our Savior. Your Pet Is Not Gone Forever.