One of the most important ways you'll help a strong-willed child to listen is by starting to work with them as opposed to against them. When they feel this shift in energy the improvements you'll see in cooperation and listening will be amazing.
Try empathizing, giving choices, and understanding that respect goes both ways. Looking for win/win solutions rather than just laying down the law keeps strong-willed children from becoming explosive and teaches them essential skills of negotiation and compromise. Strong-willed kids aren't just being difficult.
We're depleted Over time, mothers become physically, emotionally and mentally drained of nutrients, strength and vitality. Psychologist Rick Hanson coined the phrase “depleted mother syndrome” and emphasizes how important it is to regain the strength we need to be there for ourselves and to manage our care-giving role.
Parents are often triggered by their children because they believe their children's bad behavior makes them look like bad parents. If parents could look at their children's behavior as disinterested parties, as they usually do with their friends, their children's behavior would not have any power over their emotions.
Specifically, children may behave defiantly in an attempt to control a situation where they feel anxious and helpless. Researchers have labeled this form of defiant or disruptive behavior as “reactive aggression” [7].
As most parents know, children can be emotional or strong-willed. But a child who has frequent temper tantrums and consistently refuses to follow requests may have a deeper problem. Defiance and aggressiveness that continue could be a sign of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
These children are often referred to as “strong-willed” or “spirited” children. Oppositional Defiant Disorder is the clinical term for children who demonstrate a pattern of negative, antagonistic and defiant behavior that lasts at least six months.
Strong-willed children like to challenge assumptions.
Teach your child to disagree and argue respectfully. Children who learn how to express independent thoughts in the home are more likely to say no to peer pressure.
Kids need some way to figure out how to filter for the important things! Often, yelling becomes an easy way to distinguish between a real command and a choice. The other reason yelling is "effective" is because we don't follow up commands to ensure kids follow through.
Offer Warnings When Appropriate. Instead of yelling, give your child a warning when they don't listen. If you use a "when...then" phrase, it lets them know about the possible outcome once they follow through. Say something like, "When you pick up your toys, then you will be able to play with blocks after dinner."
Behaviour and Discipline. It's one of the oldest and most common discipline methods, but does sending children to their room actually work? Not really, say the experts, but even worse, it could also be teaching them to suppress emotions instead of learning how to deal with them.
This is one of the most common conditions linked to ADHD. Children who have it act stubborn, get angry often, throw tantrums, and don't do what parents and teachers tell them to do. The behavior may sometimes be a reaction to frustration.
Toddler defiance peaks at age 3 and for most children, as they mature defiance decreases — this is a normal part of development. For some children, defiance increases with age.
Does Oppositional Defiant Disorder get better or go away over time? For many children, Oppositional Defiant Disorder does improve over time. Follow up studies have shown that the signs and symptoms of ODD resolve within 3 years in approximately 67% of children diagnosed with the disorder.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
ODD usually starts before 8 years of age, but no later than by about 12 years of age. Children with ODD are more likely to act oppositional or defiant around people they know well, such as family members, a regular care provider, or a teacher.
A large percentage of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) exhibit the symptoms of DSM-IV-defined oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), which is characterized by a pattern of hostile and defiant behavior directed toward adults.
It can make them behave badly or get physically sick. Children react to angry, stressed parents by not being able to concentrate, finding it hard to play with other children, becoming quiet and fearful or rude and aggressive, or developing sleeping problems.
Disrespectful behavior often comes down to kids having poor problem-solving skills and a lack of knowledge about how to be more respectful as they pull away. Often when kids separate from you they do it all wrong before they learn how to do it right.
“Supermom Syndrome” refers to a mother's constant need to accomplish everything possible perfectly, often setting unattainable goals for herself. Tell-tale signs of Supermom Syndrome: Everything relating to the household has to be in perfect condition all the time.