Signs that you might be jealous are: You don't trust your partner when you're not together. You get concerned when they mention other people. You constantly check their social media to see what they're doing.
Jealousy can come from feelings of low self-esteem or lack of confidence. And when someone is unhappy about themselves, feels anxious and insecure, this can lead to feelings of jealousy and being out of control. Jealousy is slightly different from envy. You can envy someone for something they have.
Consider using “I” statements, rather than “you” statements. For example: Say, “I feel jealous when I see you do X, and I wanted to talk about that” rather than “You make me really jealous when you do X.” Say, “I want to share some jealous feelings I've been having,” rather than, “You're making me so jealous lately!”
Unhealthy Jealousy
Eventually, jealous people feel so overwhelmed by their emotions and insecurities that they begin to exert control over their partners. They may resort to financial abuse, verbal bullying, and violence in order to maintain control and alleviate or mask their feelings.
“Studies from around the world have reported that men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity,” Nicholson explains. “And women are the opposite — they're more jealous of emotional cheating than sexual cheating.”
Causes: Where Does Jealousy Come From? Feelings of jealousy often come from extended periods of poor or lack of communication and low self-esteem. People with poor boundaries might experience jealousy, and witnessing parents with poor boundaries usually reinforces maladaptive ways of coping.
Sometimes feeling a twinge of jealousy is a sign there's something you need to work on in a relationship or some aspect of that relationship isn't going how you want it to be going. But, unchecked, consuming jealousy can be toxic and destroy relationships.
Jealous people usually are insecure and have low self-esteem. Their insecurity can manifest in many different ways. Jealousy is very unhealthy and can affect the person who harbors jealousy as well as the person whom someone envies. It can scar him or her psychologically.
"Many times people who are not particularly fond of you have a hard time making eye contact," Craig said. "These individuals often seem distracted or disconnected while speaking and engaging with you. Their eyes may shift to other things happening around you which indicates a lack of respect and attention."
Jealousy can be a sign of insecurity. Jealousy is a fear of losing something you already have, like a relationship or friendship. People who deal with jealousy may often feel threatened by other people. You may also feel that you are in competition with others, even if you're not.
Jealous people are often non-confrontational. They may even come across as super-friendly; they fight their fight against you underhandedly. They will downplay your achievements, spread malicious gossip about you, or just talk crap regarding you behind your back.
Extreme Jealously
When jealousy creeps into a romantic relationship, it can often fester into controlling tactics to assert dominance. “Do not ignore this red flag because it could also lead to an abusive and controlling situation,” says Kelman.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Ironically, love is the most common cause of jealousy for men. Most men have a hard time accepting their potential partner's interest in others and their interactions with them. This jealousy comes from love and it can be kind of sweet and healthy.
“Jealousy is the highest form of flattery.”
People that are prone to intense jealousy or possessiveness often harbor feelings of inadequacy or inferiority and have a tendency to compare themselves to others. Jealousy, at its core, is a byproduct of fear, fear of not being good enough, fear of loss.
It renders a person weak and disables their mental ability to be confident. The insecurity associated with jealousy instills fear, rage, anger and frustration in an individual. Lower confidence: Jealousy drains out the confidence in a person.