Give them the chance to be stronger or better than you in some way. Narcissists have to feel valued or they won't be interested. They'll be overjoyed if they feel like they earned your attention because you were a little hard to get. They're also more likely to stick around if they think they helped you in some way.
Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people. Someone who validates their feelings, overlooks their flaws, and who isn't likely to leave them during the narcissistic abuse.
As mentioned, playing the narcissist at their own game is the only way to get him addicted to you. Narcissists have mastered the art of playing with people's emotions. It delights them to no end when they know they can play you like a puppet on a string.
The key to getting a narcissist to chase you is to show them what they're missing out on. You need to remind them of how valuable you were in their life. Narcissists will only treat you with kindness and respect when they believe they can lose something valuable to them.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. They may shower them with compliments and gifts or attempt to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection.
Avoid playing their games, and just ignore them when they try to manipulate you so they don't have control anymore. Don't argue with a narcissist because they might just keep escalating things until they get their way. Someone with NPD is incapable of seeing things from your point of view. Just ignore them.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
Show them you're a prize.
To keep them hooked, remind the narcissist that you're high value. Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you.
Indeed, we knew from prior work that narcissists fantasize about having power over others, and that their sense of self-worth fluctuates based on others' respect and admiration. To understand what narcissists want, it is critical to examine what makes them feel good and bad.
In fact, narcissists prefer to target someone who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire, because they believe it makes them shine too. "Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
A narcissist may lose interest in you if they feel defeated in some way. This could be due to a perceived slight, a challenge to their authority, or a failure to receive the admiration they believe they deserve.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Saying 'No', enforcing boundaries and challenging them are some of the tips on how to checkmate a narcissist by making them fear you. Holding them accountable, publicly exposing them and going 'no contact' are other strategies on how to outsmart a narcissist.