Call him up or better yet speak to him in person and let him know upfront that you're a bit hesitant about rushing into sex because of a recent relationship. He doesn't need to know the details about what happened, but just saying, "I want to take it slow" without any context is obviously not working.
Is it a red flag if a guy wants to take things slow?
Not every guy is the same, but, typically, when he says he wants to take it slow, it “indicates a desire for the pace in which intimacy, connection, feelings, and commitments grow in a relationship to be one that feels comfortable," according to Thomas Edwards Jr., founder of The Professional Wingman.
The biggest tip for how to give a guy space is to be genuine about it. Instead of viewing it as a game, go out and live your life. Connect with friends, be independent, show him that you love spending time with him, but you're just as happy to be on your own if he isn't interested.
You might not know that men like the chase, which is why walking away is powerful. If you take the opportunity to walk away from an individual that isn't putting in the same effort that you are into the relationship, this might cause him to want to chase you and make it up to you.
“When you first meet someone, you're usually not your complete, full self with that person,” says Spaulding. “You stay on your best behavior and may also avoid being vulnerable.” That's why it's best to take things slow. Doing so will give you and your partner time to show your true colors — both the good and the bad.
A guy who is taking it slow will make plans ahead of time, but someone stringing you along is not making you a priority. He will reach out to see if you want to grab a drink or come over the night of because he was waiting to see if something better would come up.
Besides just hugging and kissing, he may find a reason to touch you often. He might touch your hair, give you back rubs, or simply walk past you so he'll have an excuse to bump into you. These touches are signs he wants you badly sexually.
Taking it slow means different things to different people; for some, it may mean pacing yourself when it comes to physical intimacy or defining the relationship. For others, taking it slow can refer to incorporating yourself in your new partner's life, like meeting their friends and family.
The five stages of a relationship are the Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, the Decision, and Wholehearted Love. Every single relationship moves through these five stages—though not only once.
Men who move on faster may also be good at compartmentalizing, meaning they can just put their old relationship in the past and look at a new dating experiences for what they are—something new and different. And, she says, men may also be better about making sex just be about sex, rather than something emotional.
Casual relationships can also release feel-good hormones like dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine, which give the emotional illusion of soothing the heartache. Another reason why men run scared from vulnerability and showing off post-breakup sorrow is culture.
If you plan multiple dates in the same week with one person, can't go long without texting or calling them, or just got out of another relationship, you could be moving too fast. "We should take our time to know a person and make sure they are who they appear to be," Sussman said.
