Ways to say goodbye
You might set aside a time to talk to each person individually. Or, if you are physically up to it, you might have a gathering for friends and family. Other ways to say goodbye include documenting insights, requests, thanks, advice, recipes, memories or anything else that is important to you.
“I love you.” These three words are one of the greatest phrases to use in goodbyes. Practice saying them. “I forgive you.” or “I'm sorry.” These are powerful goodbye words and can transform you and the person who receives them for a lifetime. “Thank you” is another comforting goodbye phrase.
This stage is also one of reflection. The dying person often thinks back over their life and revisits old memories.4 They might also be going over the things they regret.
They Know They're Dying
Dying is a natural process that the body has to work at. Just as a woman in labor knows a baby is coming, a dying person may instinctively know death is near. Even if your loved one doesn't discuss their death, they most likely know it is coming.
Hospice has a program that says that no one should have to die alone, and yet this hospice nurse is telling me to take a break? Some patients want to die when no one else is there. Hospice professionals know that companionship while dying is a personal preference.
They concluded that the dying brain responds to sound tones even during an unconscious state and that hearing is the last sense to go in the dying process.
“The hardest goodbye is the one shared with someone you've spent the most time. The unbearable pain of losing someone woven into the tapestry of who you are is a lingering agony that reminds you with each breath a part of you is missing.
The most painful goodbyes are the ones never said, but the heart already knows it's over.
Avoid talking in an overly optimistic way, for example, “You'll be up in no time”. Such comments block the possibility of discussing how they're really feeling – their anger, fears, faith and so on. Apologise if you think you've said the wrong thing. Let them know if you feel uncomfortable.
Go Ahead and Cry
It opens a pathway to a conversation that could be once in a lifetime. Additionally, the loved one who's dying knows others are sad. It could be worse for him or her to not see the family cry; tears are a sign of love and understanding of what's happening.
Another common end-of-life change is that people may not respond to questions and may also show little interest in their surroundings. Let your loved one sleep and remain peaceful. Offer reassuring words and touches, but don't pressure the person to interact.
Why is it important to tell someone that they're dying? It's important to tell someone that they're dying so they can prepare and do what's most important to them. If the person consents, you should tell the people who are close to them as well, such as partners, friends and family members.
The important findings, along with observations of long-time palliative care doctors and nurses, show: Brain activity supports that a dying patient most likely can hear. Even if awareness of sound cannot be communicated due to loss of motor responses, the value of verbal interactions is measurable and positive.
"When we imagine our emotions as we approach death, we think mostly of sadness and terror," says psychological scientist Kurt Gray of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. "But it turns out, dying is less sad and terrifying – and happier – than you think."
Physical signs
Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop. Skin can become very pale. Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing. Towards the end, dying people will often only breathe periodically, with an intake of breath followed by no breath for several seconds.