Gradually ease her out of your arms and into the crib, step by step. Pick her up for comfort, but allow her to fall asleep in the crib instead of your arms. And lastly, don't feel compelled to rush to her side at every whimper as if there was an emergency—both of you will benefit from a few minutes of waiting.
Simply put, there are no negatives to 'in contact' naps for children and they will outgrow the need for them. Allowing 'in contact' naps is perhaps the least stressful option for the whole family. Accepting and dare I say, enjoying, them is often the best option.
“If your baby has only slept on an adult, by six months, they will know this is the only way to nap and will become quite upset when you attempt to deviate from the norm,” warns Dubief. “If you don't want to let them nap on you for the long haul, gradually backing out of it earlier—starting at three months—is ideal.”
Babies who get constant cuddling tend to sleep better, manage stress more easily and exhibit better autonomic functions, such as heart rate.
Self-soothing for babies
Babies cry a lot because it is a method of communication for them. When baby first begins to stay asleep throughout the night, it is because they are learning to self-soothe. Babies typically learn to self-soothe around 6 months.
When should you start sleep training? Dr. Schwartz recommends to begin sleeping training when your baby is about four months old. At this age, babies are typically old enough to learn to self soothe, and may no longer require night feedings.
There are a multitude of high-quality research studies that all show that sleep training is safe for babies, causes no psychological harm, doesn't impair the bond between children and parents AND doesn't negatively affect children long-term.
And when it came to emotional or behavioral problems, or attachment, all three groups were the same. This means that it's okay to let your baby cry a little. It's not only okay, it may lead to more sleep all around.
Babies love to be held, touched and reassured that you're there, so settling in a cot on their own can often be difficult for them. Your baby's missing your touch and attention, and they're letting you know about it (NHS, 2019). From their very first hours of life, babies will cry when separated from their mothers.
Your child's vestibular sense senses the sudden change in position. Through sensory inputs from the skin, joints and muscles their proprioception tells them their body is in a different place in relation to their environment. Understandably, a sudden change in position and movement can wake a person up.
To your little one, your warm, familiar, subtly moving body is so much more welcoming than that quiet and still bassinet. Quite simply, when your baby is nestled in your arms, they're reminded of the womb, complete with gentle movements, a snug embrace, and the comforting sound of your heartbeat.
Self-soothing is when your baby can calm down and go to sleep again by themselves. Babies who can self-soothe sleep for longer periods and have longer total sleep times at night. If you put your baby to bed drowsy but awake, they might take a little while to go to sleep. They might even grizzle.
Leaving an infant to 'cry it out' from birth up to 18 months does not adversely affect their behaviour development or attachment, researchers from the University of Warwick have found, they also discovered that those left to cry cried less and for a shorter duration at 18 months of age.
Self-soothing
Many parents begin to pause before responding, or allow children to cry during bedtime without running to their sides around this age to teach children to sleep on their own. Even using this method, many suggest that babies should not be allowed to cry for more than 10 minutes without your attention.
Period of PURPLE Crying is a research-based education program developed by the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome. Program materials include a booklet with app or DVD (available in mulitple languages), a 10-minute video on crying and a 17-minute video on soothing.
Here's how it works: After your usual bedtime routine (bath, milk, story etc) lay your child in her cot, give him a simple goodnight message, such as 'night night, sleepy time now', and leave the room. If (or more likely when) your child cries, wait for two minutes before returning. After two minutes, go back in.
Generally, the crying should be getting better by the end of the first week and is usually done by two weeks; if you do not notice improvement in this time frame it may be worth taking a break and revisiting this with your pediatrician.
The idea, which comes from Tracy Hogg's book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, involves putting your baby in her crib and if she fusses, going to her room to hold her for a bit, then putting her back in the crib when she's calm. These steps are repeated again, and as needed, until your baby is settled and asleep.
If your baby's not falling asleep within about 10 minutes after 5 days of starting the process, then I recommend playing around with the schedule a little bit. You may be putting your baby down either too late and they're overtired and cranky, or too soon and they don't have enough sleep pressure.
Every baby is different. But experts say that, on average, it takes about three to seven days to achieve successful sleep training results. The key to succeeding in a week is consistency. Your baby won't learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own after only seven days if you do not keep trying night after night.
While it can be difficult for parents, at least the cry it out method doesn't involve much guesswork: You'll let your baby cry it out for as long as it takes them to fall asleep. For some babies, that may be 5 or 10 minutes; for others, crying may continue on and off for several hours.