Mothers with BPD may find it difficult to balance appropriate limit setting with the encouragement of exploration and growth for their children. It may also be that mothers with BPD find it difficult to adjust their parenting strategies to match the developmental needs of their children.
As a result, they often fear conflict, try to placate their family, and struggle with a core sense of identity. Parents with BPD may oscillate between being overly attached or involved with their children and being hostile or dismissive. Sometimes, they might present as extraordinarily loving and attentive.
Children of mothers with BPD are also at heightened risk for exhibiting attention difficulties, aggressive behavior, and low self-esteem, in addition to major depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder itself.
Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional for individual help. Set and reinforce boundaries with your borderline parent. Keep a journal to write your thoughts and feelings, especially after an upsetting interaction. Be aware of triggers (both yours and your parent's) and do your best to avoid them.
People with borderline personality disorder can be very effective and nurturing parents, but because the symptoms of BPD can be very intense, for many people this does take some work.
The borderline mother manipulates her child to be available at all times and take responsibility for her. The narcissistic mother lacks the borderline mother's dependency on her child, and instead is simply indifferent about her child's welfare.
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
Low-Functioning BPD Mothers
The Waif: Waifs feel worthless and victimized. They can suffer from depression, anxiety, irrational fears, and feelings of vulnerability. Waifs feel helpless but reject attempts by family members to help them.
People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment. As a result, they have problems being alone. The condition is also known for anger, mood swings, and impulsiveness. These qualities can dissuade people from being around someone with BPD.
BPD Subtypes in Popular Media
Christine Lawson, describes four subtypes of mothers with BPD: the Waif (helpless), the Hermit (fearful/avoidant), the Queen (controlling) and the Witch (sadistic).
Mothers with BPD may oscillate between over-involved, intrusive behaviors and withdrawn, avoidant behaviors. These behaviors may also manifest as oscillations between hostile control and coldness.
There is also evidence to link BPD to other forms of child maltreatment, such as emotional and physical neglect. In fact, some research suggests that emotional and physical neglect may be even more closely related to the development of BPD than physical or sexual abuse.
Maladaptive Parenting. Maladaptive parenting including childhood maltreatment, abuse and neglect, exposure to domestic violence and parental conflict are found to be prevalent psychosocial risk factors for development of BPD in children and adolescents [10, 11].
Silent treatment/ghosting is something that people with BDP use as a source of emotional manipulation and psychological torture. There are many reasons why they bring this form of manipulative tactic into the relationship. Control: They want to be able to control you as well as the situation.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may engage in divisive behaviors toward family members, which affects patterns of relating. Patterns that cause conflict among families with BPD include competition and triangulation, in which a third person is brought into an argument.
In fact, content analysis of DSM criteria by Geiger & Crick (2001) found five childhood indicators of BPD: hostile or paranoid worldview; impulsivity; intense, unstable or inappropriate emotion; excessively close relationships; and lack of sense of self.
If you think depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder are the mental illnesses most commonly linked to an early death, you're wrong. Eating disorders—including anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating— are the most lethal mental health conditions, according to research in Current Psychiatry Reports.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the most damaging mental illnesses. By itself, this severe mental illness accounts for up to 10 percent of patients in psychiatric care and 20 percent of those who have to be hospitalized.
Compared to non-patients, BPD patients showed the anticipated higher crying frequency despite a similar crying proneness and ways of dealing with tears. They also reported less awareness of the influence of crying on others.
Stressful or traumatic life events
Often having felt afraid, upset, unsupported or invalidated. Family difficulties or instability, such as living with a parent or carer who experienced an addiction. Sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Losing a parent.
Quiet BPD isn't an official clinical diagnosis, but rather, a subtype. It's also known as the “discouraged subtype” of BPD, a subtype suggested by psychologist Theodore Millon. This subtype is often hard to spot. If you have quiet BPD, you direct moods and behaviors inward, so other people don't see.
“This can look like poor self-image and excessive self-criticism, feelings of emptiness and instability in goals, values and opinions.” Individuals living with quiet BPD may have decreased levels of empathy, high conflict relationships, clinginess and fear of abandonment, adds Dr. Lira de la Rosa.
Borderline intellectual functioning, previously called borderline mental retardation (in the ICD-8), is a categorization of intelligence wherein a person has below average cognitive ability (generally an IQ of 70–85), but the deficit is not as severe as intellectual disability (below 70).
Research indicates that BPD is linked to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) and exceptional artistic talent (Carver, 1997). Because your partner with BPD may be exceptionally bright, they digest information and discover answers to problems more quickly than the average person.
Early evidence indicated that outpatients with BPD, compared to non-psychiatric controls, have crucial deficits in the important domains of emotional intelligence including self-awareness, control of emotions, motivating oneself, and empathy [4,5,6,7,8].