The Narcissist hates to be ignored and holidays are a big deal for them. Ignoring the narcissist on their birthday will definitely hurt them, unless they have enough supply to feed their ego for the day.
If you remember to wish them a happy birthday, they may downplay it and pretend not to care about such frivolous things. But if you fail to make a big enough deal of it, or forget entirely? That's where conflict can arise, and the narcissist may behave even more poorly than usual.
Even when there's no apparent reason for it, the narcissist can cause drama or conflict on your birthdays just to be the center of attention. They may accuse you of flirting with someone else, not liking their gift, or saying something wrong. They can find a way to play the victim.
Narcissists need a consistent amount of validation, admiration, and reassurance to keep their grandiose self-perception intact and their negative emotions suppressed. They “forget” birthdays because the celebration of others takes away too much attention from their fragile sense of self.
Simply put, narcissists hate being ignored. They probably want to make you feel ashamed, regretful, and rattled. They want to be in control and will go to any length to keep feeling empowered. It's critical to understand that a narcissist will not leave you alone the first time you ignore them.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
The best way to deal with a narcissist is to ignore them. By doing this, you take away their power and control. Narcissists thrive on attention and need constant validation. If you can learn to ignore them, they will eventually get the message that you're not going to put up with their behavior and move on.
First things first- a narcissist doesn't react well to being ignored. In fact, they absolutely hate it. What is this? Narcissists thrive on validation and attention from others.
Essentially, Christmas is a big trigger for the Narcissist. Think about it, they love to be the centre of attention, yes even the covert Narcissist, so the fact that Christmas is all about family, various people and children, well this just puts the Narcissist's nose out of joint. It's not a good time for them.
The reality is that most people with narcissistic personality disorder have a perfectly adequate memory. It is just highly selective and focused on what they want to be true.
Psychological abusers also like to hoover around their own birthdays, especially if they are narcissistic and think the world revolves around them (think developmental age of a 5 year old).
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.
This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy. Your happiness also threatens the person's domination over your life. They realize that they aren't controlling your emotions anymore, which can be hard for them to accept.
Worse, their neediness fuels anger, criticism, rage, and passive aggressions. In their neediness they draw you into griping sessions, circular arguments, and complaints. Likewise, it prompts them to use sales tactics (like persuasion and pleading) in their discussions with you.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
For someone with narcissism, they fantasize about having unlimited power, success, beauty, and love. They see things in extremes. Everything is over the top and they deserve the best of everything. By having unlimited success, power, brilliance, or love, they can maintain the belief they are superior to others.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
You should never use the silent treatment on a narcissist because it is an emotionally stunted and immature form of stonewalling that narcissists use when they experience a narcissistic injury.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.