Make up or distort facts about the other parent, especially relating to the divorce, and share inappropriately adult matters with the child; Use the child as a spy; Use the child as a messenger; Threaten self harm if the other parent or the child does not give into their demands.
What Is A Manipulative Parent. A manipulative parent is one who uses various tactics to control, exploit, or influence their children to get what they want or serve their own needs, often at the expense of their child's well-being1.
Parental manipulation of children can be considered a form of brainwashing. One parent tries to target the other parent, ultimately undermining the chances for a healthy relationship with the other. In the worst cases, the child will reject the other parent completely.
Narcissistic Parental Alienation syndrome refers to the process of psychological manipulation of a child by a parent to show fear, disrespect, or hostility towards the other parent. Very often, the child can't provide logical reasoning for the difference in their behaviour towards both parents.
Toxic parents create a negative and toxic home environment. They use fear, guilt, and humiliation as tools to get what they want and ensure compliance from their children. They are often neglectful, emotionally unavailable, and abusive in some cases. They put their own needs before the needs of their children.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Common examples include passive aggression, silent treatment, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, gaslighting, denial, and lying. Other tactics include codependency through trauma bonding, playing on people's insecurities, withholding sex, instilling fear, or threatening to harm themselves.
If a child has difficulties with manipulation they might: Use both hands for activities that usually only require one (e.g. cutting or block building). Stabilise objects against their body or an external support (e.g. a table) to complete tasks rather than using the 'helping' hand to stabilise the object.
This begins between the ages of 3-6 years, and during this time, children learn how to get their needs met while considering what other people need as well. Although they are small, children find power in many ways.
Emotional manipulation by parents
Love withdrawal – they may say or imply they don't love the child (unless the child does what they want). Guilt induction – they use guilt to get the child to do things or take responsibility for things they shouldn't have to.
Signs of a Manipulative and Narcissistic Parent
They are controlling and possessive and tend to compete with their children. Manipulative parents see their kids' independence as a threat, shower children with unreasonable expectations, and make you walk on eggshells around their sensitivities.
Authoritarian Parenting
Mistakes usually lead to punishment. Authoritarian parents are normally less nurturing and have high expectations with limited flexibility. Children that grow up with authoritarian parents will usually be the most well-behaved in the room because of the consequences of misbehaving.
A toxic mother constantly makes negative comments or jokes about you in front of family or friends. She lacks empathy for your feelings. A toxic mother minimizes your problems and ignores or belittles your feelings, accusing you of being too sensitive. Your opinions hold no weight with her.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
“You are overreacting.” “No one will ever love you with that attitude.” “You have an awful personality and can never do anything right.” “Everyone agrees that you're probably the worst person to go out with.”