For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
People with ADHD may have difficulty maintaining positive relationships with family and friends. They may have more relationship problems with their partner or spouse and are more likely to be divorced than someone without ADHD.
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Your partner with ADHD may have experience trouble completing tasks because of a lack in interest or focus. You might notice in your early stages of dating or relationships that there are times that your partner is disorganized, unfocused, and cannot pay attention to details.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
ADHD doesn't allow the brain to slow down enough to reflect, let alone create insight. So they can really struggle to see the other's perspective in an argument – leaving them arguing their point tenaciously until their partner gives up with the futility of trying to be heard.
When you begin to date someone, you may be showered with gifts, compliments, and attention; you may feel pressured to commit too quickly. This behavior is called idealizing, or “love bombing.” Devaluing.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
Narcissistic personality disorder is typically characterized by grandiosity, a sense of entitlement, and disregard for other people's needs. Symptoms of ADHD, on the other hand, usually include difficulty focusing, impulsivity, restlessness, and memory challenges.
Being in a relationship with a man who has ADHD can lead to misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments. Having ADHD can pose a lot of challenges especially when this disorder often makes them seem like poor listeners, distracted partners, and forgetful persons.
Untreated ADHD in adults can lead to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. This is because ADHD symptoms can lead to focus, concentration, and impulsivity problems. When these problems are not managed effectively, they can lead to feelings of frustration, irritability, and low self-esteem.
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
Sometimes, people living with ADHD may behave in ways that come off as rude or disrespectful. These behaviors can stem from challenges with self-control, executive functioning, and self-stimulating actions. How you perceive their behavior often depends on your understanding of ADHD symptoms.
During conversations or presentations, a person with ADHD might blurt out things inappropriately. While this seems rude, experts say it's actually part of their symptoms.
Impulsive behavior
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
Effects of ADHD on Marriage
According to Orlov, a person with ADHD might feel: Secretly or overtly overwhelmed, since keeping daily life under control when you have ADHD takes much more work than others realize. Subordinate to a spouse who is "running things," particularly if parent/child dynamics are in place.
The symptoms may peak in severity when the child is seven to eight years of age, after which they often begin to decline. By the adolescent years, the hyperactive symptoms may be less noticeable, although ADHD can continue to be present.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.