How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond. Some even last for a lifetime.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship. How the end plays out is up to you, how you choose to react, and how hard you want to work to stay together. Learning how to overcome grief and pain is going to be difficult, but Couples Academy can help.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Affairs can take on any number of variations, from serial cheating to the one-night stand, to a long-term relationship outside of marriage that can last from six months to two years, or even longer. No matter the duration, all of these instances have an underlying cause of dissatisfaction and personal crisis.
Extramarital affairs rarely last a lifetime, but when they do, it is because of secrecy and sacrifice and a real loving connection. These are not easy affairs to maintain, and the longer they go on, the harder it will be for everyone involved.
Most Affairs Don't End With Happily Ever After
The vast majority of affairs don't result in a happy marriage and growing old together. While the spark of connection can feel intense and demanding, consider that it may not mean forever and evaluate whether it's worth the risk.
Yes, it is possible for someone to fall in love with an affair partner, although it can be a complicated and emotionally fraught experience. These relationships have trust issues due to how they began. In order to make the relationships work, the couple needs to work diligently at trust.
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
Sometimes, an affair ends when one (or both) of the partners decides that the affair has become more trouble than it is worth. They may then choose to break the affair off. In some instances, the affair is somehow discovered by the betrayed spouse, and this may bring a halt to the relationship.
Some people lose emotional and sexual connection with their primary partners and eventually fall out of love with them. Falling in love with someone else may also be a reason why men decide to cheat and have affair. Some men fear intimacy and they often start an affair to maintain power in their relationships.
Prevalence: Extramarital Affairs/Infidelities are common. Most estimates indicate that around 60% of men and 45% of women are willing to report that an affair has occurred sometime in their marriage and it suggests that 70% of all marriages experience an affair.
Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity (16%), but the share goes down sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. By comparison, the infidelity rate among men in their 70s is the highest (26%), and it remains high among men ages 80 and older (24%).
The workplace. The workplace is where most affairs begin. It doesn't hurt that we usually dress nicely and are on “good behavior” at work. Plus, having shared passions about projects (or mutual annoyance at a boss or co-worker) provides the perfect breeding ground for an affair.
“Couples do and can stay together after an affair, but it takes a lot of work to repair broken trust.” Klow says most couples don't recover when one cheats but “those that do can emerge stronger from having gone through the process of recovering from the affair.” It takes time, however.
Long-term affairs are infinitely harder to forgive and forget than a one-night stand. No matter how you frame it in your mind, a long-term affair is a real relationship built by two people.
According to a survey of 1,000 people on how affairs get exposed, 39% of the respondents said they were caught when their partner read a message or two on their phones.
Our interest develops into an obsession: We can't stop thinking about the other person even if we try to concentrate on other things. We daydream and fantasize about the other person constantly. The relationship causes euphoria -- an intense "high" or feeling of joy and well-being.
Supporting data from the IFS 1990s survey also says that men have always been more inclined to cheat than women. But during this period, older men have the same tendency to cheat as their younger peers. The survey says that infidelity among men peaked at the age of 50 to 59 (31%).
Why do people cheat? A wide variety of factors can bring out some type of affair. A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance.
A man can cheat and still love his wife.
The roller coaster of emotions that follows the discovery of his infidelity can be excruciating for both of you. It is entirely normal to experience intense emotional pain in response to infidelity. You may feel like running away or want to know everything about the other woman.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
Just like a wife can fantasize about other guys, guys will fantasize about other women on occasion. It's natural and normal; it's not a big deal! However, if you start feeling guilty or worried about your guy's fantasies, then you should know that there is such a thing as too much fantasy time.
Affairs are addictive and there is a reason why, when someone gets involved and makes those choices, it is hard to get out,” she explained. “It is because you get chemically addicted, there are dopamine hits that happen in your brain that makes them addicted to this person.”
Not all affairs happen in bad marriages and affairs usually cause a good marriage to go bad. However, the attention given to a marriage after an affair is revealed can bring changes that allow couples to grow closer than ever before and resolve issues long unresolved. Affairs happen for a myriad of reasons.