Most people start to feel better 11 weeks following rejection and report a sense of personal growth; similarly after divorce, partners start to feel better after months, not years. However, up to 15 percent of people suffer longer than three months (“It's Over,” Psychology Today, May-June, 2015).
As guys, being rejected is a failure of their masculinity and when this happens, men tend to become aggressive and broil the oppressor. When a woman rejects a man, he feels unimportant and unappreciated.
He may choose to walk away. He may feel satisfied with himself for trying. Or he could react aggressively, calling the woman a name or worse, assaulting her. Well, the first thing that comes to anyone's mind after being rejected is anger, despair and sadness or even shock.
A guy feels an ego boost after rejecting a girl. That's the first response. Or he could feel sad if there's another reason he's not telling you. If he is keeping in touch it's only because you two are still friends.
He wants to know how you really feel and if there's anything that he can do to get back together with you. If this is the case, you should listen to his feelings and try to understand what he's going through right now. He might also try hanging out with you as friends, just like how it was before.
Be yourself.
And clearly you got close enough to him to know that he likes you too (at least as a friend). Don't change who you are just because you got rejected. Continue dressing the same, talking the same, and liking the same things that you did before the rejection, but also continue your normal activities online.
“Men have been taught since the earliest of times to protect their masculinity," says psychotherapist Jaime Gleicher, LMSW. "When they're rejected, they associate it with their masculinity. When that's threatened by an outside source, they tend to fight for it—also as a way to re-prove their manliness.”
Why Rejections Hurt So Much. Researcher Naomi Eisenberg at UCLA discovered that social pain (such as being rejected and let down by others) and physical pain are felt in the same parts of the brain. In other words, the brain can't tell the difference between the pain of a breakup and the pain of a broken arm.
The answer is — our brains are wired to respond that way. When scientists placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing. The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.
One of the first subtle (but powerful) signs he regrets rejecting you is that he'll try to say sorry to you about what happened. This won't always be direct, as many times men react to guilt by internalizing it. To be frank, they have trouble expressing when they've messed up in a relationship.
If you're going to understand the male dating experience, a great place to look is online, where, generally, as in real-life, men are the pursuers and women are the pursued. According to this juicy infographic, 69% of men got rejected before the first date.
One could be because of his esteem issues, which we've already spoken about. He could be thinking that it's likely you like someone else because they're better looking or you seem to laugh more around them. But another reason might be because you've shared thoughts about other guys in the past to him.
Men regret losing the kind of woman who is emotionally independent, bold enough to take care of her own life and happiness, and kind to her near and dear ones. She doesn't look back after someone disrespects her and won't give in easily to the proposition of getting back together with that person.
Wait until you feel ready to talk to them again in person.
There's no rush, so take your time. In the meantime, hang out with your friends, who can remind you of how awesome you are. It's okay to talk to your crush right away if that feels right to you. There are no rules when it comes to chatting with your crush.
Here's some good news for the brokenhearted out there. A study at the University of Michigan found that men desire a woman more if she was the one who was dumped in her previous relationship, and not the other way around. But women, evidently, prefer a man who did the rejecting.
Most people start to feel better 11 weeks following rejection and report a sense of personal growth; similarly after divorce, partners start to feel better after months, not years. However, up to 15 percent of people suffer longer than three months (“It's Over,” Psychology Today, May-June, 2015).
Key points. Romantic rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same.
I wouldn't ignore him, but definitely don't go out of your way to give him attention. Live your life, invest in people who invest in you. Don't let his rejection sway your actions. Just take your energy and put it elsewhere.
Rejection can take a major toll on your self-esteem and often leads to deep emotional wounds and wounds in your spirit that open up doors that cause you to experience other negative emotions, including depression, fear, doubt, isolation, self-pity, suicidal thoughts, people pleasing, double-mindedness, eating disorders ...
Respect her despite the rejection
But more importantly, make sure you treat her with respect even after. Respect is actually a very attractive quality that women take note of, and it's also a sign of a confident man. The second you're disrespectful, she has already blocked off any thoughts of ever being with you.
Social rejection increases anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness. It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks, and can also contribute to aggression and poor impulse control, as DeWall explains in a recent review (Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2011).