After the interment,
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
Whatever you choose, your children are likely to have questions about what to expect. According to Jewish tradition, families mourn for seven days after a loved one's funeral. This week-long mourning period is called shiva.
Although traditionally a seven day period, many families sit Shiva for a shorter period; perhaps 1, 2 or 3 days. The Shiva period is often announced at the funeral.
You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.
Food for the Shiva
A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook. You may bring a Shiva platter along with you on a visit. You can also send platters or a basket of food. Most of these provisions are intended for the mourners to ensure they are nourished.
One is not required to sit shiva for step parents, step children, adoptive parents or adopted children. A Rabbi should be consulted if one wishes to make an exception. Friends never sit shiva regardless of their feelings for the deceased. The "house of mourning" refers to a residence where a mourner is sitting shiva.
Any other relatives even if we feel very close to them such as grandparents or grandchildren or aunts and uncles or in-laws are not officially mourned nor do we sit shiva for them. It would therefore be inappropriate for those people to wear black ribbons or cut their garments.
There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.
A shiva visit should be no more than an hour. If a service is held, come a few minutes before and stay a few after.
Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.
Laundering and Wearing Clothes
Laundered clothes must not be worn during the shiva, even if they were laundered before the person became a mourner. Members of the mourner's household who are not themselves mourners are allowed to launder their clothes, and are allowed to wear laundered clothes.
You feel the most of your grief within the first 6 months after a loss. It's normal to have a tough time for the first year, Schiff says. After then, you often accept your parent's death and move on.
Numbness, Disorganization and Reorganization are these stages. In the midst of the grief journey, we sometimes feel there is no ending to the pain of loss. There is no formalized way to sever the relationship you have maintained with the deceased.
According to classic Jewish practice, those mourning the death of a parent continue reciting Mourner's Kaddish for eleven months (including the first month). Some mourners mark the end of shloshim with a special service or ceremony at which the mourner or family members speak about the deceased.
It is customary to say to the mourners: Ha-Makom ye-nachem etchem be-toch she'ar avelay Tziyon vi-Yerushala'yim. May the Lord comfort you together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” Who observes Shiva? Children, siblings, parents, and spouse.
Chief Rabbi Herman Adler, Nathan Marcus Adler's son and his successor in office, stated: “There does not exist any precept prohibiting the interment in a Jewish cemetery of the ashes of a person who has already been cremated, an opinion supported by other eminent rabbis.
Such organizations often send a card to the mourners acknowledging your gift so your contribution will not go unappreciated. If you cannot make a shiva call in person, it is also appropriate to send a card or write a letter because the most important gift that you can provide to a friend in grief is your presence.
Following shiva is the stage of mourning known as sheloshim (literally "thirty"). During this period, mourning proceeds for thirty days following the burial. The first seven days of sheloshim is the period of shiva, however sheloshim continues on after shiva has ended.
How long do you sit shiva? Traditionally, shiva lasts for seven days. It starts at the time of burial and lasts for the following week until the family moves into the seloshim or shloshim stage of mourning (which goes for 30 days).
Shiva is derived from the word sheva, which means seven, signifying the seven days of mourning. It is a time referred to as – “sitting shiva” and its primary purpose is to provide a time for spiritual and emotional healing, where mourners join together. A person sits shiva for a parent, spouse, sibling or child.
For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.
Once that first meal of condolence concludes, there are no food restrictions for mourners. Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However, this is not prohibited.
The simple answer to your question is that there is no Jewish mourning ritual for an animal. There is nothing to stop you from taking time out of your ordinary schedule to reflect on your loss but you mustn't confuse this with the religious nature of a shivah ritual. Judaism has great compassion for animals.