Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline.
By this time, you should both know each other well enough to make an informed decision, and it won't seem like you're rushing things. But general guidance suggests not waiting more than a year; if you're dating someone for that long and still haven't naturally become exclusive, you may not get there.
Every couple is different, but it usually takes 2-4 months to get into a committed relationship. This amount of time allows two people to get to know each other on a deeper level and see if they're compatible. It's important to note, though, that the range of time can be anywhere from 6 weeks to a whole year.
According to a 2015 dating survey conducted by Time Out of 11,000 people worldwide, people decide to go exclusive and stop seeing other people after six dates — which, for many, falls in line with the one- to two-month mark. They officially declare themselves a couple after nine dates, on average.
In general, there is no one right answer when it comes to when you should define the relationship. However, dating coaches and experts tend to agree that sometime between the 1-3-month mark could be an appropriate time to have this conversation.
While we might understand the reason for the 3-month rule, it has no scientific basis whatsoever. Everyone moves on at different times; some people even start to move on while the relationship is still technically in play.
The 3-month rule is a 90-day trial period where a couple “tests out” a relationship to see if they're compatible. During the 90 days, couples learn about each other's likes, dislikes, and possible red flags. At the end of the 3 months, couples discuss if they want to pursue a long-term relationship.
“Keep in mind that the second date should not take place more than two weeks after the first date. If the first date went exceptionally well, the best thing you can do is lock in a second date soon after. The following dates should all be spaced as close together as possible,” said Gordon.
“The best way to truly learn about another person is to take the time needed to truly get to know them before making a commitment to them.” And while there's no exact right amount of time, she says you should wait anywhere from one to three months before making the relationship exclusive.
As we've mentioned before, generally speaking, there is no set number of dates before it's a relationship. Instead, it is a matter of both people taking enough time to discern if there is enough compatibility and chemistry between them to make a relationship from, Dr. Thomas says.
Examples of dating red flags are: Talking only about themselves, avoiding difficult conversations, gossiping about their ex, and withholding affection.. Dating red flags can reveal themselves through a negative sign or action, a verbal or physical cue, or the hint of a personality flaw, and they can be dangerous if not ...
Labels mean different things to people, but one of the simplest ways to think of “exclusive” is a transitional phase between “dating” and “relationship.” This can also mean agreeing to not see other people while on your way to — potentially — becoming a couple.
Exclusive means you aren't in a committed relationship just yet, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't eventually turn into one," Sullivan says.
Talking Stage Timeline
It's completely normal for the talking stage to last at least 2 months. This is when relationship experts say it's okay to talk to your crush about being exclusive.
However, after dating for 5 months, couples start to get more serious about their relationship. They have learned each other's likes, dislikes, habits, and quirks. They have also had the chance to talk about their future goals, values, and beliefs.
“Locking in a date a week is a good benchmark to aim for to be sure you're giving enough time to the relationship, without meeting up so little that the connection fizzles out.” Of course, when you're in those early stages of infatuation, it can be tempting to want to see someone you are dating as often as possible.
Instead, I'm talking about the trend known as the three-month itch, which occurs when a couple have been dating for about three months and suddenly one decides that they either want to exit the relationship, or morph things from casual to commitment.
You can live by the 3-6-9 rule. That means no big decisions about a relationship, or about sex, until you've been seeing each other for 3 or 6 or 9 months. (And it's safer to stick with 6 or 9 months before you start seriously considering really big decisions, like having sex.)
According to research by dating app Inner Circle, 68% of daters have had a relationship end after three months. This is usually due to something called the "feelings gap". This gap is the difference in the amount of time each partner takes to decide whether or not they want to be in a long-term relationship.
So what is it? The 2-2-2 Rule involves going on a date night every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months and taking a week-long vacation away every two years. The idea behind it is that prioritizing and planning to spend time together strengthens your relationship.
By the fourth date, you'll want to let your guard down a bit and shed the interview-ready façade. In other words, on the fourth date, you can be a bit more casual and reveal more of your personality and quirks. You want the person you're dating to get to know you and make sure that they like you (and you like them).
Relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman discusses the romance advice once again going viral: the 2-2-2 date rule. The guidance says committed couples should go on a date once every two weeks, spend a weekend away every two months and take a week-long vacation every two years.
Case in point: An 2018 survey of 1,000 British men and women found that while more than half of them take over three months to say, "I love you," 32% of women and 29% of men say it in one to three months—and 10% of women and 14% of men say it in just one to four weeks.
After about seven months together, couples have a general idea of how each other work and may have already said, "I love you." Think about it this way: Someone who has only dated around and hasn't been in a committed relationship before may absolutely consider seven months to be a long-term relationship.
According to Katie Ziskind, a holistic licensed marriage and family therapist in Niantic, Connecticut, it can take between 2 weeks and 4 months to love someone. But it may take longer before a person actually considers telling their partner they love them.