As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
Hugging someone you love for 20 seconds a day is the key to alleviating stress and beating burnout, according to a new book. A lingering embrace releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which can lower your blood pressure, slow your heart rate and improve your mood.
When people hug for 20 seconds or more, the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released which creates a stronger bond and connection between the huggers. Oxytocin has been shown to boost the immune system and reduce stress.
According to family therapist, Virginia Satir, everyone (including our teens) need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs a day for growth.” That may seem like a lot of hugs – especially for a fickle, sometimes snarky teen who isn't keen on being touched.
Being hugged uplifts our mood. If you are feeling isolated or are going through a rough time, a hug releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body's natural pain relievers. These neurotransmitters increase our feelings of pleasure.
Touch starvation occurs when you go without skin-to-skin contact for long periods. Over time, it can impact your mental health and well-being. Being touch starved — aka touch deprived or skin hungry — can happen when you have had little to no touch from other living things.
Kiss someone when you feel ready, regardless of how old you are. Around ages 12-15, people often start having their first kiss. Don't feel pressured by other people your age kissing people, and don't rush into kissing someone if you are apprehensive. You'll know intuitively when the time feels right.
Remember touch is essential and there is no substitution for a great big hug! As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
Albers said there is a biological reaction to a hug. "There is a release of oxytocin. That is that feel-good chemical that when it's released, we feel bonded to those around us. There's also a decrease in cortisol, the stress hormone that pumps through our bodies when we feel stressed or overwhelmed," Albers said.
Its best to begin with light small touches on the arms and hands, to make the oxytocin effect kick in. Take her hand while taking to her (never ask for it, just take it), play thumb wrestling or pretend to read her palm or just play footsies under the table.
Men have been shown to be particularly sensitive to physical contact, so touch likely boosted their oxytocin levels considerably, Melton says. “Justifying small ways to make any activity one where we're touching our partner, whether that's touching of the arm or around the shoulder, [could be useful],” Melton says.
“Sometimes called the “cuddle hormone” or “feel-good hormone,” oxytocin is produced by the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland when we're physically affectionate, producing what some describe as warm fuzzies – feelings of connection, bonding, and trust,” said Paula S.
Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).
Hugging for at least 10 seconds at a time releases oxytocin, a hormone which helps your body fight infections, boost your immune system and eases depression. Until recently, oxytocin was thought to only be a hormone released during childbirth and through breast feeding.
“The average length of a hug between two people is three seconds, but researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the love hormone.
When we squeeze each other, we provide deep pressure. Deep pressure is detected by receptors and sends a signal of safety to the autonomic nervous system. This turns down the anxiety we feel from activation of the sympathetic nerve, otherwise known as the fight or flight response.
Psychologists Recommend Daily Passionate Kisses for a Healthier Relationship. Phycologists say that to maintain a healthy relationship, you should kiss your partner at least once a day, though ideally three times or more.
Some of the neurochemicals include the hormone oxytocin, which plays an important role in social bonding, slows down heart rate, and reduces stress and anxiety levels. The release of endorphins in the brain's reward pathways supports the immediate feelings of pleasure and well-being derived from a hug or caress.
Interestingly, this is largely agreed upon across generations. No need to wait for the official first date to get a little face time, however. Americans agree kids are ready for their first kiss at age 15 (15.1 on average), while on average, they had theirs at age 14.5.
“Kids can fall in love by all developmental measures as soon as you can begin to measure their feelings,” says Carleton Kendrick, EdM, a Boston-based family therapist and author of Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We're Going to Grandma's. “There's no such thing as puppy love.” Crushes are a healthy part of life.
Lean in for the kiss, gently pressing your lips against theirs. If your crush feels the same way, they will meet your kiss. If they turn away, don't force them to kiss. Respect them and understand that they may not share your feelings.
In fact, it's a human need. Humans are wired to have a deep longing for physical contact. Our need for physical affection with human beings is rooted in our biology, as touch and close connections with others is of huge importance in our overall well-being, mental health, and survival.
The need for affection solidifies our desire to know we are compatible with another human being, even if the relationship is on the friendship or familial level. It creates a sense of harmony in a relationship, especially when it is an intimate one, according to about.com.
As humans, we crave connection and interaction. And sometimes during certain seasons of our lives, many of us will experience a level of touch deprivation, also known as skin hunger. “Humans are born with an innate need for physical touch.”