Narcissists see the world as hostile and threatening, and they move against people aggressively, both in word and behavior. This can lead to narcissistic abuse. Vindictive narcissists retaliate in order to reverse feelings of humiliation and restore their pride by defeating their offender.
Abstract. Narcissists and psychopaths dissociate (erase memories) a lot (are amnesiac) because their contact with the world and with others is via a fictitious construct: The false self. Narcissists never experience reality directly but through a distorting lens darkly.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissists only see things from their view. Their feelings and comfort are of most importance. These folks tend to think that others are only capable of feeling or seeing things in the exact same was as they do. It doesn't occur to them that other perspectives may exist.
Narcissists are often arrogant, self-important, and devoid of empathy. They are so in their own world they can't even see you. It's hard to stand in someone else's shoes when you can't see past your own. Narcissists see you not as you, but more as an extension of themselves.
Narcissists are uncertain of the boundaries between themselves and others and vacillate between dissociated states of self-inflation and inferiority. The self, divided by shame, is made up of the superior-acting, grandiose self and the inferior, devalued self.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it. They will often exaggerate or outright lie about their achievements and talents.
The truth is that nothing can make a narcissist happy, because their agenda of dominance, exploitation and oppression creates an ever-expanding chasm within their soul. The narcissist can take pleasure in the exercise of power and the subjugation of others, but they can't feel happiness from any source.
They demand respect, and give none in return. For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.
Underneath their façade is toxic shame, which may be unconscious. Shame makes narcissists feel insecure and inadequate―vulnerable feelings that they must deny to themselves and others. This is one reason that they can't take criticism, responsibility, dissent, or negative feedback even when meant to be constructive.
Thus, narcissists may pay special attention to their appearance, leading to observable manifestations such as matching, fashionable clothes, and a tidy, organized appearance. Another characteristic of narcissists that might affect their physical appearance is their desire to be the center of attention.
As a result, the narcissist uses people and things to provide for their emotional needs and narcissistic supply. The primary function of narcissistic supply is to foster ego, self-worth, confidence, and self-esteem.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
Sometimes the narcissist does gain self-awareness and knowledge of his predicament - typically in the wake of a life crisis (divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, accident, serious illness, or the death of a loved one).
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
Narcissists will manage their shaky sense of self-esteem by denying any responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior. Some of the tactics they use to achieve this are denial, delusion, toxic amnesia, gaslighting, minimization, deflection, blaming the victim, playing the victim, and many more.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
Narcissistic rage can be triggered by various situations, such as criticism, perceived rejection, or being ignored. The reaction is often extreme and disproportionate to the event or comment, as the narcissist's fragile ego struggles to cope with the perceived attack on their self-image.
“Grandiose narcissism appears to correlate positively with healthy self-esteem and extroversion,” Papageorgiou says. These types of narcissists tend to be very confident, which is a good thing. (A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, might be overly sensitive.)
Thus, both vulnerable and grandiose narcissistic individuals tend to have dysfunctional moral standards which are inconsistent with acceptable moral and ethical ideals (e.g., moral: more related to personal perception of right and wrong; ethic: more related to common and social standards of right and wrong).
People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.
Narcissism is positively associated with self-assessed intelligence, but not objective intelligence.
“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.