The number one way to stand up to someone who doesn't value you is to walk away. Yes, walk away. I know it seems easier said than done but if you can walk away from your person you will accomplish one of two things.
“Try to let go of negative feelings and focus on the positive aspects of your friendship.” “You can also forgive and then steer clear of them in the future if you feel it's in your best interest,” says Hong.
Minimize your contact with the person if necessary.
If you feel you owe the person an explanation for why you are avoiding them, then calmly let them know that you have been repeatedly hurt by their behavior and are cutting ties for the sake of your own wellbeing.
Friendships are a source of emotional support and boost our health and well-being. Some signs that it may be time to end a friendship include gossip, manipulation, or disrespecting boundaries. Most friendships drift apart naturally.
If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you. At Stenzel Clinical, we've seen what happens when pain is bottled up.
A common one is not asking you about your feelings, life, or what's important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship. They may not check in to hear your ideas on certain projects at work, for example. They might organize a gathering and leave you out, even when you're part of the team.
Signs of emotional unavailability include fear of intimacy, trouble expressing emotions, and commitment anxiety. “It's not something you can fix for them, nor is it something they can quickly and easily change about themselves for you,” Jernigan says.
"When they hurt us, our image of them is broken." In order to get over them, it's essential to "try to separate who they really were from the person you built them up to be," Naisteter says, and that just takes time.
Let them know that this is not a punishment, but rather a productive way for you to heal. When you need space from your friend before moving forward, you can say: “I know this is hard for you too, but your actions have hurt me deeply so I need some space right now before we can be friends again.”
If someone displays a pattern of this kind of behavior, intentionally doing things to hurt you, this is abuse.
Relaxation exercises, physical exercise, or yoga can help you cope with these feelings. The best method for improving your mood involves relaxation, stress management, and cognitive restructuring. Relaxation can reduce emotional pain by letting your muscles relax and deepening your breathing.
Being vindictive or aggressive will only create more conflict. The best way to get back on someone who hurt you is to work on yourself. Work on getting in shape and moving forward. If your ex sees you don't need him to be happy, that will be revenge enough.
Inflicting pain on you may be a distraction from their own pain, a way of "getting even" for things which have happened to them and a way to feel something deeply in a way which makes sense to them, given their past experiences.
For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.
So, why do we hurt the ones we love? Often, it's because we're scared of losing them. Our bad behaviour is a desperate attempt to try and reconnect with them. But bad behaviour doesn't forge connections; it weakens them.
And every loss comes with a certain level of grief. Letting go of someone you love also isn't just about that person. It also signifies a big change in your life, and maybe even your identity. Even if you know that the relationship wasn't for you, it can still be hard to let go of it.