If you know what it means to be together but not really together with someone, you've probably been in a situationship. It's when you're sorta talking to someone (inconsistently), making plans (last-minute), and the romantic connection isn't super defined.
To some, the talking stage can be considered a form of a situationship (a label-less relationship); others, however, might see it as a step before a situationship because, again, there's no solid commitment of a potential relationship.
A situationship is a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship. If that's what you're looking for at the moment, it can give you a chance to enjoy the benefits of a relationship without expending too much emotional energy.
How long do situationships last? It depends on the two people involved, but you know you're in a situationship when you have been in this setup for more than six months. While it is common to test the waters before committing, staying too long in a situationship does not look promising.
You don't have to talk or prioritize each other every day when you're still in a situationship stage. But if both parties authentically want the relationship to progress to a relationship, there shouldn't be random periods of radio silence for no reason.
You never know when you're going to see them
Unlike being in a relationship where you might have set dates and plans, a situationship is spontaneous and lacks consistency. You might see a person many times one week and then not see them again for a few weeks.
These types of relationships often lack clear boundaries, commitments, and labels, which can lead to confusion and frustration. While situationships may seem convenient at first, they can quickly turn toxic and leave you feeling unfulfilled.
Today's young people have a newer label: the “talking stage”. It happens between being introduced to someone and officially dating, and it can involve talking or texting for days – even months. The purpose of this stage is to have the opportunity to get to know someone before committing to a relationship with them.
While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing. A friends-with-benefits relationship is when friends engage in casual sex without taking on the commitment aspect of a relationship. A situationship, on the other hand, lacks a formal label.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
Bilek agrees that an open and frank conversation is the only productive transition from a situationship into something more. “Tell them, 'This is a good partnership for me,' and make sure to ask them how they feel.” Even if the conversation is hard, the resulting clarity will be worth the stress, Romanoff says.
Unlike the very casual friends-with-benefits arrangement, situationships have a level of emotional attachment and quality time away from the bedroom.
Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline. Keep in mind that this depends on how often you talk to your crush.
This means you don't interact on social media, you don't text or call them, and definitely no FaceTime. While some people believe following the no-contact rule will help them win their situationship over, this is not the case. No contact is to help you move forward and nothing else.
The undefined nature of situationships can make them singularly hard to recover from, says Jessica Alderson. As she says, “in situationships, there's often a lack of clear boundaries, commitment, and labels, making it difficult to know where each person stands”.
Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
The first step in turning your situationship into a relationship is to communicate your feelings with your partner. If you're becoming emotionally attached, keeping your budding love a secret will only cause you pain and heartache. Don't do that to yourself.
For people who lack a secure attachment style, a situationship breakup can feel especially painful because it confirms a fear that is developed during early childhood: that someone they care about might unexpectedly one day abandon them, or cannot be depended on.
The good news is, you can turn a situationship into a real relationship. In fact, it happens all the time. Here's what the experts recommend. Bring your partner into your world.
Be honest, clear, and compassionate while expressing your decision to end the situationship. Avoid blaming or criticising the other person, and focus on your own emotions and needs. After expressing your decision to end the situationship, it's essential to establish clear boundaries.
It's emotionally connected, but without commitment or future planning. The labels “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” don't really apply, but it's way beyond a casual hookup. It includes going on dates, having sex, and building intimacy without a clear objective in mind. Enter “situationship.”
You owe it to yourself to be honest with yourself about the reality of the situationship. Indecision is a decision and that decision is not you. So, by all means, go no contact if you must but make sure you're doing it for the right reason: to help you let go.
Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing. If you've waited more than a week and still haven't heard back from him, it might be time to move on. It's really hard when a guy flakes out on you, but there are other people out there for you!