Sometimes, too nice really is a red flag. Someone who seems too nice could actually be love bombing you, an early warning sign of abuse, for instance. "Although on the surface, you may feel someone is too nice, it's actually your intuition trying to give you a subtle warning that something is off," Nikhade says.
People who are 'too nice' often avoid sharing their ideas due to fear of rejection, judgement, or the (false) belief that it's selfish or controlling to do so. When the relationship is deprived of that creative energy it slowly starves over time, becoming stagnant, dull & lifeless. It also leads to disconnection.
"But when someone is too nice, it conveys a lack of boundaries. It may be a signal that they are not taking care of themselves and their own needs first." People who are too nice tend to put everyone else, especially their partner, first. They're selfless, overly positive, and can easily be manipulated.
"You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you," warns Quora user Christopher Kosel in one representative answer.
Major red flags are infidelity, gaslighting, controlling behavior, angry outbursts, and physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
Low self-esteem.
If your friend has low self esteem – especially when their partner is the one often at the root of their insecurity, that's a huge red flag. Abusers will often try to put down their victims.
They find you silly or outdated. Do they often come off as condescending? Do they often refute your ideas, saying that “you're being silly?” If yes, it is a BIG red flag that they do not respect your opinions, or care about them. Anyone who makes you feel silly or outdated should not be your friend.
Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Niceness is not a character trait. Niceness is an outcome-oriented behavior people put on in order to achieve or gain something.
Kindness is not weakness. Kindness is the strength we need to show when we are at our weakest. It is the compassion we give when we are hurting the most. It is what allows us to forgive even when we have been wronged.
In certain cases, being too nice can also mean flouting your boundaries. Catering to others' needs every time and sidelining one's own needs can lead to resentment. This resentment often comes with a certain set of expectations that we may have from others in return. This can also lead to self-criticism.
Studies have shown that people rate others as more desirable if they embody compassionate traits — kindness, selflessness, mindfulness, empathy — to some degree.
Being nice is a positive trait to have. As humans, we truly appreciate and value supportive and compassionate friends and family. But when the balance is off, it can be detrimental to yourself, and even to those you think you are doing the right thing by.
You can be a good person with toxic traits. In fact, everyone displays negative behavior from time to time. Many people also develop toxic traits as a coping mechanism. For example, many dishonest people lie about their lives to protect themselves from other people's judgment.
In retrospect, being friendly is entirely different from flirting, and the main difference is the relationship between people involved. Flirting often takes place when people are sexually attracted to each other whereas being friendly does not involve any attraction.
“It may be that those who go out of their way to help another are seen as weak because it appears as though they are they are putting the needs of someone else before their own needs,” explains Charlotte Armitage, a media and business psychologist.
The abuser may also employ manipulative kindness by doing things such as asking for forgiveness, promising he'll never hurt her again, or buying her flowers. When manipulation is involved within a pattern of controlling behaviors, it's not kindness, it's abuse.
If you hold kindness as the best response in all situations, people can take advantage of you. All they have to do is ply you with guilt for being unkind, uncaring, unloving, un-empathetic, uncompassionate, unsympathetic and uncharitable. Being too selfless puts oneself at risk.
Nice Guy Syndrome is a behavior pattern where an individual seeks approval and validation by being extremely nice and accommodating to others, even at their own expense. The idea behind this behavior is that by being nice to everyone, they will receive the same kindness in return.
A positive attitude, a balanced extroversion and confidence have been revealed as the most attractive qualities, in both sexes. Psychologists say these three personality qualities not only make someone more attractive to the opposite sex but also prove they can get on with anyone.
adjective. over·nice ˌō-vər-ˈnīs. Synonyms of overnice. : excessively nice: such as. : excessively pleasant or agreeable.
She explains that 'pink' flags are “flags that can sometimes seem like a red flag until you actually get to know the person and reasons behind them. It's where something can feel like a big relationship concern and worry but after communication is actually ok”.
Jealousy and possessiveness are red flags in men because they can indicate an underlying issue controlling behavior. First, jealousy can lead to negative feelings, while possessiveness is a way of controlling someone.