Due to our intuitive and feeling traits, INFJs feel deeply, and that's likely the understatement of the year. But because of our complete willingness to put others first — combined with our need to have complete trust in someone before opening up — we may fail to communicate our emotions.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
I think INFJs tend to bottle up negative emotions for a few of reasons. We don't like conflict or rejection, sometimes it's easier just to avoid an issue. We're very private, letting your emotions spill out means everyone can see them! We don't like to hurt people or have people we love angry at us.
While INFJs can naturally connect with others and understand their emotions, their own internal feelings can be more challenging. They instead focus inward towards their sense of intuition, seeing the future outcomes and using their vivid inner minds as an escape.
They possess an incredible sense of wonder about the world and feel great compassion and empathy for others. While these emotions are strong, INFPs tend not to express them outwardly, which is why they can sometimes be mistaken as aloof or unwelcoming.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
Love And The INFJ Personality Type
They can often come across as intimidating or aloof, and it may sometimes feel difficult to relate to an INFJ. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close friends and long-term, loving relationships.
Some introverted types are more apt to be mistaken for extraverts than others. In our experience, the INFJ is the type most commonly misperceived as extraverted, although this can occur with the INTJ as well. There are a number of personality factors commonly associated with extraversion.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
Like me, many INFJs become victims of emotional stacking—bottling up our emotions to avoid disharmony or conflict.
As one of the rarest personality types, they have a difficult time meeting someone like them in their careers, families, or other social groups. INFJs carry a burden few others will ever share. They often feel like they don't fit in, can't be “seen,” or aren't accepted as they truly are.
INFJs also feel embarrassed when they cry in front of others or react emotionally to criticism. They also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. This occurs when they empathize too strongly with someone who has done something awkward or is embarrassing themselves.
INFJs Have a Strong Sense of Emotions
They are often empathetic toward others, and, at times, can neglect their own feelings. INFJs have the natural ability to understand others' emotions and they can sometimes sense the feelings of those around them.
Though quiet and reserved, INFJs value people who can give them care and attention. They might not be vocal about this, but they definitely expect their loved ones to be able to read the non-verbal cues. Attentiveness can also mean giving an INFJ your full attention, without distractions or interruptions.
Their perfectionism can drive others away.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away.
INFJ. INFJs, like INTJs, are often misunderstood simply because they are so few in number. Making up a mere 1.5% of the US population, INFJs see the world in a different way than most other types do.
Since they're so tuned into their emotions (and the emotions of others), INFJs often seem too sensitive to other people. Since they're sensitive, they're more likely to share their emotions with people close to them. Unfortunately, some people read their sensitivity as weakness instead of caring.
Relationships can be overwhelming for the sensitive INFJ. After all, we tune into other people's emotions and sometimes struggle to sort our complex feelings out. Yet, as intense as INFJ relationships can be, these personalities usually seek long-term commitment from a partner, not a casual fling.
At their best, INFJs make modest, reliable teammates, and allow others to take the lead. INFJs may undervalue their own needs, ideas, and contributions, acting overly shy and not taking credit when due. At their worst, INFJs can be excessively submissive, ineffectual, and too dependent on direction from others.
They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
They enjoy quiet activities such as reading, journaling, or meditation. Often, they can feel overwhelmed by too much stimulation, so it's important for them to have a quiet space where they can retreat and recharge. They feel happiest when they are able to squeeze in some quiet time within each day.