INFJs are not easy to read, but they can easily read others. INFJs pick up on other people's moods, energy or intentions and can read them like a book. But they hide their own feelings behind a poker face, so it's tough for others to read them.
They're tough to get to know
There's being reserved and then there's INFJ levels of secrecy. It's no surprise that as Introverts—who recharge by spending time alone—INFJs can be tough to get to know. In fact, INFJ personalities are talkative and bubbly, but only around people they trust and know well.
INFJs are extremely observant, and it's easy for us to see all the many ways in which we don't fit in with the groups around us. What is much more confusing though, is why we don't fit in. This leads most INFJ personality types to feel alone, misunderstood, rejected, or weird (and not in a good way).
INFJs can read people and do so very well, but this ability is, contrary to their belief, generally limited to matters of feeling, emotion, and morality. It extends less to thought or intent, areas where they may find themselves lost, “driven with the wind and tossed”.
INFJs are the fifth most intelligent personality type. These individuals are rare and often misunderstood. They are compassionate and caring, but they also have a sharp intellect. INFJs are able to see things from multiple perspectives, and they use their knowledge to help others.
As sensitive, intuitive people, INFJs have a sixth sense about others. Our finely tuned empathy means we can feel others' feelings and we know when they're not telling the truth. We have this ability to see through people's outward persona to the real person underneath.
Advocate (INFJ) Weaknesses. Sensitive to Criticism – Advocates aren't averse to feedback – that is, unless they believe that someone is challenging their most cherished principles or values. When it comes to the issues that are near and dear to them, people with this personality type can become defensive or dismissive.
ISTP - Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, And Perceiving
People with the ISTP personality type are often described as hard to read.
Because of how INFJs deal with past pain, they're likely to have similar reactions to trauma. These include: Avoiding people, places, or things that remind them of the trauma. Experiencing fear and anxiety about the outside world.
Here's Who Drives an INFJ Crazy:
They have a ceaseless hunger for authority, especially over your decisions. They pride themselves on “telling it like it is”, but this only succeeds in making the look superior and unabashedly tactless.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough. In some cases, it's a misunderstanding.
Basic Fear: Being corrupt, “bad,” or defective. Basic Desire: To be good, pure, and to have integrity. INFJ Ones feel it is their duty to improve the world and overcome moral adversity.
Because they are often reserved, high-achieving individuals with high expectations of both themselves and others, INFJs can be intimidating to other personality types. Since INFJs are also the rarest personality type, many people misunderstand them.
INFPs have Fi as their dominant function and they're also the most common mistype for INFJs. If both Sign 1 and Sign 5 are true for you, then INFP is probably a better fit for you than INFJ.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
#1 – INFPs
According to the MBTI® Manual, INFPs are overrepresented in preferring reading as a leisure-time activity. This matched up with the surveys I conducted as well, with the average INFP reading a whopping 68 books per year!
The study then describes the seven traits that can be used to determine if someone is difficult: callousness, grandiosity, aggressiveness, suspicion, manipulativeness, dominance and risk-taking.
Those who are extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging are often identified as one of the kindest types by experts. "ESFJs have extroverted feeling as a dominant cognitive function," Gonzalez-Berrios says. "This makes them rule by their hearts. They are kind, polite, friendly, and sensitive."
INFJs are capable of mechanical memorization, but the amount retained this way is less than from memory based on understanding. INFJs are capable of accurately reproducing received information, especially if they associate it with any feelings.
Worst Matches for an INFJ
For these reasons, the two worst potential matches for an INFJ are the energetic and unemotional ESTP and the always curious and firmly grounded ISTP. Relationships with both types of personalities leave the INFJ feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from their partners.
In my experience as an MBTI® practitioner, one of the most common struggles I hear from INFJs is the struggle of being misunderstood. INFJs feel misunderstood in their external environment and even by themselves.
INFJs ranked as having low dominance according to the CPI™ tool. Since the traits linked with low-dominance were being quiet, cautious, or hesitant to take action, this makes sense. INFJs tend to be on the quiet side, and they also tend to be extremely independent.
INFJs are enigmas to other types, and sometimes the way they think, speak, or function can look outwardly awkward. Most of these behaviors are easy to explain when they're analyzed. So if you or someone you know is an INFJ, remember not to dismiss these habits as awkward, but as evidence of how you tick.
Interpersonal intelligence, INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP
This intelligence type is skilled at both verbal and non-verbal communication. Their strengths lie in understanding the motivations and emotions of those around them and they excel in conflict-resolution.