If your child is afraid of the dark, they're not alone. “It's very common in children and adolescents alike,” says Thomas Ollendick, a distinguished professor emeritus at the Child Study Center at Virginia Tech who has dedicated much of his career to understanding fears and phobias in children.
It is quite common and natural for a child to be afraid of the dark. Fears that keep a 12-year-old from going upstairs sound more severe than normal. The fact that her fear is impacting her ability to perform normal activities (by keeping her on the main floor after dark) is worrisome.
Most kids will actually outgrow fear of the dark by ages 4 to 5, helped along with some specific strategies. But about 20% of kids will have a persistent fear of the dark. “It's not always so easy to unlearn those startled, anxious, fearful responses,” said Mabe.
They may fear getting hurt or that a loved one could die. Schoolage kids may also feel anxious about schoolwork, grades, or fitting in with friends. Preteens and teens may have social fears. They might feel anxious about how they look or whether they will fit in.
Fear of darkness usually starts between ages 3 and 6, when children are old enough to use their imagination but have not fully developed the ability to distinguish fantasy from reality.
A good starting point is to ask your child what might help him feel less scared of the dark. A small (not too bright) nightlight, having a stuffed animal, a comforting bedtime routine or an object that empowers them (for example, some kids like a magic wand), are all some possible examples.
One of the reasons that children develop a fear of the dark is that they are often alone in it. They are on their own in bed with fewer distractions and their fears can overwhelm them. If you spend fun time in a dark room with your child, they will learn to feel secure in lower light.
Anxiety may present as fear or worry, but can also make children irritable and angry. Anxiety symptoms can also include trouble sleeping, as well as physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or stomachaches. Some anxious children keep their worries to themselves and, thus, the symptoms can be missed.
This also will be a time when your teen might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school.
If your child is afraid of the dark, they're not alone. “It's very common in children and adolescents alike,” says Thomas Ollendick, a distinguished professor emeritus at the Child Study Center at Virginia Tech who has dedicated much of his career to understanding fears and phobias in children.
According to clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph. D., author of Family Fit: Find Your Balance in Life, fear of the dark is “very common” among adults. “It is estimated that 11 percent of the U.S. population is afraid of the dark,” he says, noting that it's even more common than a fear of heights.
Fear of the dark is a common and typical fear for most children. Fear of the dark usually starts to crop up in toddlerhood. When children's cognitive abilities expand – so does their imagination! For some kids, this fear never goes away.
For people that are tense, stressed out and afraid it can be difficult for them to get into a sleepy state. Relaxation tools like meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness can all help bring about a more relaxed and less alert state of being.
Children in this age group might:
Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence. Experience more moodiness. Show more interest in and influence by peer group. Be less affectionate toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
What is a 12-year-old's bedtime? A 12-year-old should ideally get 9-11 hours of sleep. If your nearly teen needs to wake up at 6:30 am for school, aim for an 8:15, at latest 9 pm bedtime.
How Tall Should a 12 Year Old Be? We can only speak to national average heights here in North America, whereby, a 12 year old girl would be between 137 cm to 162 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/3 feet). A 12 year old boy should be between 137 cm to 160 cm tall (4-1/2 to 5-1/4 feet).
Wait for the strong emotion to pass. Be patient. Your child is more likely to calm down if you stay calm and accept their emotions. Give your child some space if they want it, but let them know you're close by – for example, 'I'm just going to sit outside your door'.
When you're going through the puberty years, it's easy to feel like the way you're feeling will be the same forever. But it's important to remember that those changes and uncomfortable experiences most often pass on their own with time.
Panic disorder is a common and treatable disorder. Children and adolescents with panic disorder have unexpected and repeated periods of intense fear or discomfort, along with other symptoms such as a racing heartbeat or feeling short of breath. These periods are called "panic attacks" and last minutes to hours.
It's not easy on anyone but we've learned my family is not alone: research shows about 73 percent of kids ages 3 to 12 struggle with nighttime fears.
Stressful or traumatic events, genetics or children being around anxious or overprotective caregivers can increase the risk of being scared of the dark.
Kids are hardwired to be afraid of the dark …
Some fears are acquired based on specific life experiences; others are more universal and innate. Fear of darkness, which in extreme forms is known as nyctophobia or achluophobia, falls into that latter category.