But the good news is it's completely normal to find your child annoying. "Dealing with whininess, tantrums, interrupting behaviors, baby talk, or any regressive behaviors is naturally frustrating for a parent," says licensed professional counselor Roseann Capanna-Hodge, EdD.
Feeling annoyed with your child is not only normal, but could be a sign that they are ready to gain a new skill and develop.
While it's perfectly normal to find your child annoying occasionally, or dislike aspects of him or her, not liking them long term can usually be traced back to a reason, or sometimes several. There might have been a rupture in the bonding process.
A quarter of parents admitted the time period between 6 and 8 years old held the most brutal meltdowns. The new survey asked 2,000 parents of school-age children about the ups, downs and precious moments they cherish.
The years between eight and thirteen can leave you feeling like a parenting beginner all over again. They bring backchat, rudeness, defiance, highly emotive responses (SO many big emotions!), selfishness, “I hate yous”, sulking and door slamming.
The survey also turns the “terrible twos” myth upside down. The majority of parents with adult kids agree ages of 0 to 4 were the most stressful, and 29 percent say age 3 was the most difficult time for them. The brunt of it, however, was the teenage years, according to 30 percent of parents.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Feeling disconnected from your child is a usual part of parenting. Although it leaves you questioning your abilities, with some time and effort, you can work on restoring your connection. Excess screen time, neglecting your own needs, and replacing quality time with material things can contribute to the disconnect.
Minor feelings of resentment are one of the normal emotions of parenting. But more frequent or intense feelings of resentment can be a sign that something needs to change. If you're the parent of an infant or a younger child, it might mean something needs to change for you.
Types of emotional abuse
humiliating or constantly criticising a child. threatening, shouting at a child or calling them names. making the child the subject of jokes, or using sarcasm to hurt a child. blaming and scapegoating.
For children, anger issues often accompany other mental health conditions, including ADHD, autism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and Tourette's syndrome. Genetics and other biological factors are thought to play a role in anger/aggression. Environment is a contributor as well.
You still lose your temper. You still find yourself getting harsh with your child. Why? The short answer is that most parents haven't integrated ( i.e., healed) their own anger, and therefore anger becomes the trigger for ugly reactions.
Anxiety and overwhelm
“Mom rage is often not an anger problem, but an anxiety problem,” says Palacios. For example, mom rage became more common during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdowns. Many parents had to transition to working from home — often while simultaneously homeschooling.
Detached: The parent exhibits distant, cool, and mechanical behaviors, suggesting that they're avoiding emotional connection. Problematic or disturbed: The parent lacks basic-level care and interaction. There may be signs of hostility and intrusiveness.
Middle School. A study of nearly 2,000 mothers conducted by Suniya Luthar and Lucia Ciciolla at Arizona State University found that middle school is actually the most difficult stage of parenting.
Lack of trust
With an emotionally unreliable mother or one who is combative or hypercritical, the daughter learns that relationships are unstable and dangerous, and that trust is ephemeral and can't be relied on. Unloved daughters have trouble trusting in all relationships but especially friendship.
They become quite independent as they reach 5-6 years of age, even wanting to help you with some of the chores! This is probably why most parents look at age 6 as the magical age when parenting gets easier.
Essentially, the evidence we have suggests that having children can make you happier. It also can make you feel unhappy, or constantly stressed, or anxious, and so on. Overall, it seems like having children makes your emotional experiences more intense than if you don't have them.
At 3 they gets bit easier, in that you don't have to be on high alert ALL the time, and they develop the concentration to sit and watch TV for longer periods, but 4 is a turning point. It really depends a bit on the child's personality and a LOT on how you foster independence in them how easy they become how fast.