Loss of attraction is very common in long-term relationships, but although it's not always a cause for concern, you shouldn't ignore it. At the beginning of a relationship passion and attraction are at an all-time high. Things are new and exciting, and you and your partner can't keep your hands off each other.
Physical attraction can fade: Over time, you may no longer find your partner physically attractive anymore. This could happen if you lose the chemistry that existed between the two of you. Or, you may feel unattracted to changes in their body or appearance.
Perhaps the relationship feels stale. Your attraction to your partner could also be affected by recent trauma. In some cases, it's possible that the relationship has run its course and you're just no longer attracted to your partner. This is normal too.
sort of. It's not so much your sexual attraction to someone that can dwindle, but rather, two other types of attraction that begin to decrease first. This then leads to a decrease in sexual attraction. When sexual attraction fades, it tends to stem from a behavioral or emotional disagreement.
Pay attention to a lack of communication, as well as a lack of desire to fill your partner in about your day or a happy life update. “A sign of a healthy relationship is communication,” Trombetti says. So if you don't bother talking — or, if you do talk but it's always with someone else — you've lost interest.
However, generally, it is possible to revive the feelings of attraction in a relationship but it requires a commitment from both partners and honesty to examine, and work on the underlying issues.
Try to introduce some excitement to your relationship by going on adventures together. All individuals have preferences in the way they like to be loved. Some enjoy acts of service, others physical contacts, while some like words of affirmation. Try to translate your feelings into your partner's language.
“We have this misconception that we must be physically attracted to someone when we first meet or there is no relationship potential. That's just not true,” said sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle. “Attraction can grow as you get to know someone and experience increased closeness and connection.”
How long does attraction last? It's a common belief that romantic partners become less attractive to one another in long-term relationships, but this isn't true for everyone. There's no limit to how long attraction can last. It might be brief, or might last for the rest of your life.
Attraction fading is not necessarily an indication of someone's “faults” but could possibly be a sign that there are better things to come in the future if a person is open enough to explore what those things might be.
Difficulty in feeling attraction to someone could be due to various factors, including sexuality, depression, side effects of medication, or a lack of confidence in the ability to choose a partner wisely. Or, it could mean you haven't found the right person to inspire feelings of sexual desire yet.
Every couple goes through ebbs and flows with their physical relationship. Your lives get more hectic and you're not always going to be consistent in your physicality. But if you don't feel sexually attracted to your partner at all anymore, it could be worth considering an end to your relationship.
In some cases, your sudden loss of interest in your partner could be the result of your discovering you both have different values or goals. When you feel this way, you may want to talk to your partner about it and think about whether or not you still want to stay in a relationship with them.
One of the most common reasons why people lose interest in a person they're dating is because that person lacks confidence. Sometimes, people lose interest in dating someone because the timing isn't right for them.
“The most common thing I've seen in couples who lose the attraction is that they become too comfortable or too stressed, and consequently don't make the couple part of their relationship important,” Hardie-Williams said.
Generally, an 80 year old person is not perceived to be as physically attractive as a 20 year old, independent of how long this person has been in a relationship. So the attraction will decline with time independent of relationship duration, because of age alone.
It could be because you love the thrill of getting to know someone but once that thrill fades and you start being comfortable with them, you lose interest romantically. You could also be afraid of commitment and the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone scares the bejesus out of you.
Every human being is different, and for some of us, trying to force ourselves to stay with someone whom we're only emotionally attracted to just leads to anger and resentment. More than that, staying in a relationship where your lack of attraction to your partner is making you miserable isn't fair to you or them.
While it might be worrisome, the lack of a physical connection isn't necessarily a dealbreaker; instead, it can take time for someone to feel sexually attracted as they get to know their partner better.
If your partner doesn't seem interested in having sex, the best thing you can do is talk about it. It may seem difficult or even embarrassing to have this conversation, but talking it out is the only way to find a way forward.
So can you love someone and not be attracted to them at the same time? Again, the answer is "Yes," but that doesn't mean it'll be smooth sailing for your relationship from here. It's still a problem that needs solving. And you'll need to understand what's really going on to know what to do.
There are seasons of your relationship when you'll feel less connected to your partner. Unless it is an ongoing, painful issue that's never resolved despite your best efforts, a momentary disconnect is normal—not a death signal.
It's totally normal if you're not interested in dating. It could be that you're going through a breakup, are focused on other things in life, are aromantic, or are not interested in modern dating.