There's no need to stay with your child until they fall asleep. Telling them you'll lie down with them for 15 minutes can be the perfect compromise to give them the snuggles they need while still giving you some precious time to yourself at night. And don't underestimate the benefits you'll feel yourself!
Stop Co-Sleeping with Your Baby at Age Two
It is an essential method that is used by most parents to help kids feel less stressed at night. And while there is no question that there are numerous health benefits, it is always best to end co-sleeping by the end of age two at the latest.
Each subsequent night you should increase the amount of time between checks, allowing them more and more time to be in bed independently, thus increasing their chance of falling asleep independently. Show them that you have confidence in their ability to fall asleep without needing you to lay down beside them to do so.
Although not recommended for any age, a 7-year-old sleeping with their parents is considered normal in many families and cultures. Co-sleeping is not recommended, but a 7-year-old child sleeping with parents is considered normal in many families and cultures.
Recent studies indicate that near-epidemic proportions of children are co-sleeping with parents today. According to Parenting's MomConnection, a surprising 45 percent of moms let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them from time to time, and 13 percent permit it every night.
Co-sleeping with older children can be especially detrimental as it can create stress for the entire family, lead to poor sleep patterns for both parents and children, and inhibit the ability of children to develop independence.
Dr. Basora-Rovira says there is no specific age that is “too old” for co-sleeping. She encourages parents to not begin practicing co-sleeping in the first place. And, if you are already co-sleeping with your child, to transition him or her out of your bed and into his or her own room as soon as possible.
Barclay notes that there's nothing wrong with letting your child sleep with you, if you decide to go that route. "Many families in other cultures sleep together," she says. "If this works for you and your family, then it's perfectly fine."
You may want to start off by slowly moving their cot further away from your bed each night – so that they can get used to sleeping in their own space, while still being close to you. Then, once they've adjusted, you can move the crib into their own bedroom. Or switch it round and bunk up with them for a few nights.
In general, I would say that by the age of 8 or 9 years-10 at the latest-most children have developed enough of a sense of personal boundaries and body space that they no longer want to shower with a parent or bathe with a sibling of the opposite sex.
Growing children need more sleep than adults, being approximately 12 to 14 hours each day. Allowing your children to sleep on their own beds not only gives them the liberty to sleep in any comfortable position they want but also reduces external movements and disturbances that might otherwise disrupt their sleep.
The child might have separation anxiety, a tendency to worry a lot, fears about illness, a lot of temper outbursts, or difficulty managing transitions. Or the child might have ADHD or a learning disability. But that does NOT mean that the sleep problem cannot get better until all those other problems improve.
Higher self-esteem. Boys who co-slept with their parents between birth and five years of age had significantly higher self-esteem and experienced less guilt and anxiety. For women, co- sleeping during childhood was associated with less discomfort about physical contact and affection as adults (Lewis & Janda, 1988).
Pro: It fosters closeness
Co-sleeping does provide that bonding experience between parent and child — on both ends. Kids feel safe throughout the night. If a kid starts in the parents' bed, the child will consider that bed to be theirs all the time.
At some point, your child is old enough to bathe themselves. When exactly that happens, "depends on the child's maturity and desire for privacy," says Dr. Lysouvakon. "Some kids can bathe as early as 5 or 6 years of age, but many experts recommend solo bathing at 8 years of age.
DEAR CONCERNED: It is not appropriate for parents to co-sleep with adolescent children, partly because adolescents need and deserve some privacy, as they engage in the developmentally important process of figuring out who they are and what they're about.
A survey of over 3,400 new parents, carried out by The Lullaby Trust, has shown that 9 in 10 co-sleep with their baby.
Some children are all-night sleepers, but they're in the minority. It's natural for babies and children to want to sleep with their parents, or very close to them, as it's a primal thing to do. A look at young dependent mammals will attest this - they all sleep next to their parents/mother.
I see it as a child's natural response to their desire to feel safe, secure and comfortable going to sleep. It may be that your daughter has simply developed a habit of sleeping with her parent (whichever one she is staying with at the time).
So why do parents still choose to co-sleep with their babies? Well, along with some cultural practices, the purported benefits of co-sleeping are that it promotes bonding, helps children feel safe, and makes nighttime nursing easier.